Photo by Dayne Topkin on Unsplash
Or it doesn’t have to just apply to natural disaster crisis as the recent flash floods and typhoons hitting in our South East Asia region; with the record of this year being Malaysia’s worst flash floods in decades, areas and towns of Selangor including Taman Sri Muda has been devastated by the flash floods.
With the rapid and constant streaming of news not only involving the active update of the weather forecast and the week-long narratives being shared across all platforms available of people and communities in desperate need of aids for food, clean-up, necessities, search and rescue and so much more, but this also goes to show how much Malaysians uphold the strong community spirit of going above and beyond for #KitaJagaKita. It makes us proud to be Malaysians through and through again, through thick and thin.
However, it is also in human nature that what comes with the good also comes along with the bad: Not to say that a lot of people do not understand much of the plight of others but it does become quite jarring when the lack of empathy and kindness is apparent when it comes to expressing opinions about the circumstances victims’ go through.
Though harsh, some comments by the netizens do take it pretty far to come across in the tone of victim-blaming and to an unnecessary to the unsolicited act of moral policing.
Now here’s the thing that should be reminded of: No one would ask for any kind of misfortune to happen.
And here’s another question to think about: Would you say and do the same thing to others if you were a victim of a crisis or an incident?
It does not matter who, when, and where – life and the world works in such a way that when it does happen, it can happen to anyone, anywhere, and at any time. As any other human being living and sharing in the same space on this Earth that we are still trying to preserve, we ought to be more aware not to be so unkind.
So past few days among the rush and the heavyhearted flow of the internet filling up with various comments and shoutouts for help, request, and offers of aids, there are people who have been doing and saying morally questionable things – One would be thinking: Why not just ignore them and just move on?
Ideally, sure, that is the best thing to do because, in troubled times, priorities come first to those in need; but that does not mean to just ignore completely the unkind voices and try to address them if we could help it at least.
So for this article, here’s the list of things to NOT say and do to flash flood victims:
1. Do NOT Say: “At least you are still alive, just be grateful”
Oh, pretty sure the victims are grateful that they’re alive. However, it’s not our place to dictate for them to be grateful for only just being alive because surviving a crisis is a miracle to be grateful for – but it’s the aftermath of the damages left behind that the victims will have to think about.
They do not need us to give them that extra reminder to be grateful.
2. Do NOT Do: Dumping and Giving Away Items…. that even YOU would not wear anymore
There are specific places for such intentions of Recycle, Reduce, Reuse; but these victims have lost their most necessities like clothes, furniture among many other items in the devastation of the flash floods; not only will they have to throw away things like blankets and clothes that have surely been mouldy and extremely dirty and unwearable but they will also have to consider on planning to get new ones and that would cost a lot of money on their end.
They will need to take time to recover and recuperate their losses; if you do want to donate what you do have because you want to help out, then ask yourself: What is your intention?
Would you want to receive a blanket that has been mouldy and overworn and dirty just because it is a donation? Then if you would not as the person on the receiving end, perhaps reconsider as someone who wants to give.
You want to give them comfort, safety, and relief. Not for the pure satisfaction of just clearing away space and garbage.
3. Assuming and Not Asking
The same nature of the above-mentioned. It applies as well in general to the recent news and the active stream of social media communities offering what they assume victims would generally need and want rather than asking.
Simply put: It is best to ask what victims need and want.
Reach out to NGOs, volunteers if you are unsure and want to be sure. Of course, it’s great that you want to help but you want to help more effectively and not just blindly.
It will be beneficial for all parties because it will be efficient and it makes the active humanitarian effort of community aiding, proceed and process more smoothly. For example, if you are not sure what to donate and what NGOs and relief centres need, then best to pay attention to what is needed and then act and give accordingly.
4. Say Something Like: Hey, It could have been worse
Just don’t say this. Just don’t. It’s very insensitive, it has a sheer lack of empathy and it just shows that even if there is something that could have been worse, somehow it makes it something to ponder on a few things such as:
- Even if it can be worst, what do we really do next?
- Do we really want to imagine the worse?
- Can and how do we really prepare for the worse?
A very simple question I would like to ask: Would you like to be put in that mental and emotional stress to think about all that just when such an unfortunate crisis just happened to you?
If the answer is no, then yes, it would be best not to tell – No, remind someone that it could have been worse.
With all the above being said, I cannot help but do want to remind you of just one really… simple piece of advice (unsolicited or not):
Just be kind. Really.
Jasmine RCK is a content writer under Headliner by Newswav, a programme where content creators get to tell their unique stories through articles and at the same time monetize their content within the Newswav app.
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