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Chameleons, Ducks, Donkeys, Frogs Sorcerers and Zoologists Are Getting Drawn Into Johor Polls
By Mihar Dias
(C) Copyright February 2022
Have you noticed that innocent animals, reptiles, amphibians and other bystanders like a sorcerer and a zoologist were being dragged into this battle for Johor state?
PAS and UMNO were the first to throw the ducks into the ring; one of them needed a swimming lesson and the other was just lame.
A healthy duck obviously would be able to swim and would not necessitate any teaching as alluded to by a politician. Except of course if it was a lame one!
I guess only politicians know about teaching ducks how to swim. Or better yet teaching a lame one. Insults and insinuations involving ducks started when the two parties were busy preparing for the Johor polls.
Of course, lurking in the background were the celebrated political frogs ready to jump when the situation demands. News emerged from some quarters that party hopping was about to happen. In fact, in one constituency members of a party did resign to join another.
Some people prefer to categorise these frogs as toads that jumped from bed to bed. A better term for them is perhaps what Americans called “prostanoids”. It is made up of two words combining the name for the oldest profession in the world with a nickname for current politicians who willingly switch camps when enticed by money.
Then there was an MP from PAS who called a UMNO leader a sorcerer and a zoologist whose expertise was on chameleons, that could change colours as quick as a lightning bolt. He was referring to the ability of the latter to fall sick when summoned by the court and yet able to become healthy again immediately after. We saw news reports of the party leader giving excuses of ill health to the court but was later seen healthy enough to conduct meetings.
The latest animal to fall prey to politicians in the Johor election was a donkey. Pakatan Harapan’s Howard Lee lambasted an Umno Council member, Fuad as an “old” and “defensive donkey” after the latter accused the opposition of taking advantage of youth-led Muda for the Johor polls.
Speaking of Muda I too would like to throw some animals into the discussion.
I feel Syed Sadiq is being cautious as a fox unlike his counterpart, Mukriz of Pejuang that was bullish announcing that his party was contesting 42 seats for the assembly. But the big guns of UMNO and BERSATU are still locking horns like two bulls on the road to Johor polls.
On the other hand, I am still waiting for someone to drag out an old crocodile (buaya tua) any time soon out of the murky political waters.
“Political crocs” are just opportunists and are not fussy. They would be happy to chew on just about anything. You may see them at some hotels in Johor Baru hanging around the lobbies during the next few weeks waiting for opportunities.
In any case, I would like to call upon all innocent animals, amphibians, zoologists and sorcerers alike to protest for being dragged into the political arena.
Similarly, politicians should begin calling themselves and each other by the terms that they deserved to be called plunderers, thieves, connivers, liars, opportunists instead of using animals to take the blame for their shortcomings.
Mihar Dias is a content writer under Headliner by Newswav, a programme where content creators get to tell their unique stories through articles and at the same time monetize their content within the Newswav app.
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