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I am an omnivert. Meaning that I alternate between being an extreme introvert and an extreme extrovert. It is chaotic and I have no control over it.
It is not the same as an ambivert. Ambiverts are hybrids. They have the best of both worlds, with one foot neatly in each territory. On the other hand, omniverts have no in-between. We are fully introverted one moment and fully extroverted the next.
Of course, I learned to carry myself—part and parcel of adulting. Sometimes work demands I socialise even when I don’t feel like it, so I condition myself to do what I have to do. But it’s still painful.
Here is how it’s like to live with that pain:
1) People don’t believe you when you don’t feel like going to a party
“But you had so much fun last time!”
I did. It was a blast. Dare I even say that I was the life of the party. But I need to recharge from all that fun. For every one unit of extroverted fun, I need 20 units of introverted downtime to recover. I’m sure this next party is going to be great, but it’ll be great without me.
2) You excitedly make plans with others for a future date, only to dread it when the day arrives
There’s a saying: Grocery shopping while hungry is a bad idea. For me, making plans with other people while extroverted is a bad idea. I like those people; I wouldn’t have made plans with them in the first place if I didn’t. But when the gloomy clouds of introversion start forming overhead, I wonder why I made those plans.
3) People think you’re slighting them
When I’m feeling introverted, I’m reserved. I behave this way because of my internal workings, no offence to the company present. I’ve had an acquaintance get offended because I was quiet-friendly with her although she saw me chatty-perky with someone else the other day. Honestly, it’s not you. It’s me.
All I can say is be kind to your omnivert friend. I swear, they like you. They just can’t decide when to see you.
Chow Ping Lee is a content writer under Headliner by Newswav, a programme where content creators get to tell their unique stories through articles and at the same time monetize their content within the Newswav app.
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