The defamation trial of the lead actor of The Pirates of the Caribbean, Johny Depp against his ex-wife Amber Heard over her allegation of domestic abuse has been revealing plenty of unpleasant truths about their relationship. It is speculated that the relationship was abusive, toxic and debilitating for the period they were together. However, one thing that the trial has rekindled is the discussion on men being domestic violence victims. Johnny Depp has revealed that he has been emotionally and physically assaulted by Heard which has not only affected his personal life but became a reason for the fall of his career. For a popular figure like Johny to be disclosing the kind of abuse, he was experiencing in the relationship has ignited the importance of discussion on men as domestic abuse victims among the public. This is in no way to conclude that Depp is an innocent man altogether as that is the responsibility of the jurors but the attention on the topic of male victims in domestic violence is certainly something to ponder upon. Contrary to the popular belief, domestic violence against men let it be physical, emotional or psychological is far more common than the general perception and unfortunately, the matter does not get the attention that it deserves. We always presume that women are the victims of domestic aggression but it is important to acknowledge that women are just as capable to inflict physical, emotional or psychological harm on their male spouses.
A study in the UK has revealed that almost 25% of domestic abuse crimes committed in 2018 and 2019 were against men. One in three domestic abuse victims is male. In another report by CDC, 1 in 7 men has reported having experienced serious physical assault by their partner. These findings are evidence of why the discussion on male victims of domestic abuse is so crucial. Men are subjected to unrealistic expectations from society to conceal their pain, to be impossibly strong and to not be “weak”. As a consequence, the male victims choose to stay quiet and endure the pain alone. Reluctance in reporting such abuse often leads to aggravation in their emotional and psychological well-being which in extreme cases end in death. The assault can come in the form of verbal abuse, physical abuse, control of possessions or finance, insults, accusations, manipulations and threats to end the relationship. Regardless of the type of abuse, the motive of the abuser is to always make their victims feel powerless and helpless which is why men are always so embarrassed to speak openly about their plight.
Abuse in any gender is not okay and people have to stop generalising men as the perpetrators and women as the victims in all circumstances. Some of the steps to help male abuse victims in domestic violence are as below:
- Stop telling men that they have to be strong all the time. It is okay to be vulnerable when needed.
- Encourage them to speak to friends, family members or the domestic violence helpline if they are in an abusive relationship.
- The victims should never blame themselves and instead focus on healing.
- Keep evidence of abuse for legal purposes.
- Walk away from abusive relationships.
Men and women are equally at risk of domestic violence and it is vital for us as a society to understand and accept that. Only when we stop stereotyping, we can truly help every victim of domestic violence regardless of gender. To be strong is to be vulnerable and suffering in silence should never be an option.
Thanusha is a content writer under Headliner by Newswav, a programme where content creators get to tell their unique stories through articles and at the same time monetize their content within the Newswav app.
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