The arrival of our Thing 3 was a complete surprise. A happy surprise. We were more surprised than Thing 2 which we had waited for so long for our prayers to be answered.
We were so surprised we were dumbfounded. We had to sit down to take a moment. To let it completely sink in that the two lines on the stick meant that a new little person was coming, whether we were ready or not. It was a whirlwind of emotions, we had just returned from a 6-year stint overseas, and we had no knowledge of how the system worked in Malaysia. Nothing. Nada. But we were in a position (due to age *cough*) where a lot of our friends had someone to recommend. People who had friends who were specialists in their field. The ones we could trust given my colourful medical history and multiple miscarriages (straight to the top of the high-risk category we go!)
Anyway, the pregnancy and delivery went smoothly and after 37 weeks, we had our Thing 3. It was one for the history books as he was born less than a month after the start of MCO 1.0, you know when there were no cars on the road you could practically lie on the road? Yep. That time. Apart from that, it was pretty uneventful and we spent the days (that turned into weeks, months, years!) within the 4 walls of our house, trying to keep things as normal as possible.
Except that it wasn’t normal. There was nothing normal about it. Day in and day out, all he saw were us, the other human beings in this house. In his life. Not before long, he started being clingy. At first, I thought it was just normal baby behaviour but then it got worse, he was getting clingier. He wouldn’t let me out of his sight, it would be fine for me to be doing something else, but not when I was out of his range. He would cry incessantly.
I had to cook wearing a ring sling, him always on me, while I was exposing him to the dangers of an open fire. I couldn’t do any housework alone, I had to either carry him or put him in the high chair so he could see me. He had this invisible antenna that could detect when I was out of his range. Mind you our house is just a standard house, nothing fancy. You could stand at the front door and see past the kitchen at the back.
Bedtimes and naps were worse. He wouldn’t sleep in the cot, he wouldn’t sleep if I wasn’t next to him. I had to use ninja stealth mode to leave the bed when he did sleep and he would wake up within the hour unless he could feel me next to him. The cot is nothing more than an unused piece of furniture in our room.
It has been quite a stressful journey most days, especially on days where he refuses to let Dad take over and everything is on Mum. Dad tries his best but when you have a high-needs baby it is not just a matter of passing the said baby back and forth. The lack of sleep at night when he decides to feed every hour is mentally and physically exhausting. (we have tried other methods but it is not working) It is also something else when your baby is the size of a Baby Alive doll with a cry as loud as a race-car engine.
Some people have said that I am giving Thing 3 too much attention and that he should be left to deal with his feelings. I’d like to tell them to try helping me achieve that. It is quite frustrating when people tell you to do something without actual suggestions on how it can be achieved. For one, I don’t believe in leaving little kidlets to manage their own feelings, or crying it out, or not acknowledging them in any way. Even when they are in this position where they cry without you ever really understanding why they are crying, I feel you should comfort them so they know everything is alright.
Others have said that this too shall pass. You will miss these moments when they are older. Perhaps, but until then do I just persevere? The majority will say yes and I will suck it up and be the supermom all moms need to be.
But deep down, in a little tiny corner of my heart, I would like some me-time too. I am only human, after all.
SuriyaNoor is a content writer under Headliner by Newswav, a programme where content creators get to tell their unique stories through articles and at the same time monetize their content within the Newswav app.
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