It has been a wonderful November day in Subang Jaya today—the kind where the rain cools the air without flooding the streets—and I’m hoping tomorrow will be just as pleasant.
If anything spoiled the day for me, it was a waiter at the restaurant where I had dinner. He looked at me and said, “Gosh, you have a lot of white hair on your head.”
I didn’t realise how vain I was until those words cut into my heart.
When i heard him, I was glad that the masculine spirit is stronger in me than the feminine. Were the feminine spirit stronger, I am sure the words would have much more than it did. . 😅
Hearing the comment also made me remember a before and after picture of a much older dear friend that I saw on Facebook not too long ago. The picture showed my friend at 11 years apart. In the first picture, he had a set of jet-black hair but in the second, he wore a hat. Judging by the colour of his moustache, I am guessing that it is not a jet-black hair that is underneath the hat. 😅
Seeing that made me realise I probably have another five years before the white hairs outnumber the black.
When I actually sat with that thought—of having a fully white head of hair in five to ten years—I can’t pretend I felt serene acceptance. I must say that there was a fair share of sadness and denial in my heart as well.
Do we ever truly become ready to be old and to face death, I wonder?
I think I’m now at that age where illness, ageing, and mortality has stop being jokes.
Five years ago, if I heard a joke about dying or getting sick, I would have been able to fully appreciate the humour. Now, even when I laugh, I can’t help but notice that there is a ring of truth in the humour. The sound of the rings echoes like it is coming from a faraway place, but still the fact remains that I can hear it clearly nonetheless. 😅
As I was thinking about ageing in this November weather, the state of our nation also came into my attention, and it occurred to me that one of the reasons why it doesn’t seem like all is well in the country is because we might have forgotten about what is it that we owe each other in our nation.
As a nation, i think one of the things that the older generation owe it to the younger generation, is the leeway to make mistakes and err, even to the point of sinning or bordering on the criminal, to the degree that is possible.
Now that I feel quite old myself, i feel that there are somethings that a person cannot learn outside of experience, and to learn from experience, we probably have to make mistakes and err in the process.
Now that I am older, and I reflect on myself when i was younger, I think that one of the things that I think is proper for those of us who are older to give to those who are younger, is tolerance, acceptance and magnanimity, for all the mistake they are bound to make, before they figure by their own experience, what is right and wrong.
The quality of a relationship grows from the direction and intensity of our intentions – in the future, to avoid the negative relationship that the younger generation today seem to have for their older generation, I sincerely believe that my generation needs to start showing a greater deal of understanding, tolerance, acceptance and magnanimity, for the generation that succeeds us.
Other than what the old owe the young, I also think that there are other dimensions to what we owe each other - between men and women, rich and poor, able and disabled, east and west - and if only we fulfil this obligation that we have towards each other, will we find it meaningful and worthwhile to be a part of this blessed nation.
And perhaps it is the absence of these intentions—these quiet obligations we owe one another—that makes me feel something is amiss in our country today.
Maybe it is because we have forgotten what we owe each other as a nation, that this feeling of being one people under one nation seems to be fading.
I don’t think we understand this now. I hope one day we will.
And with that, I end my reflection on this fine November evening.
Nehru Sathiamoorty aka TheRealNehruism
November 2025
SS 15, Subang Jaya
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