Byline: Qadeem Zieman
A film by the renowned fashion genius, Tom Ford, from 2009, set in 1962, about a single British teacher in America who falls into solitude and darkness after losing his beloved partner of sixteen years.
Everything seemed to be moving dreadfully slow as he gazed at the moments around him in flashbacks of what had been spent with the deceased lover, Jim.
George, who carries the magnetism of an ageing Casanova, was surrounded by women and men around him, including a student from school named Kenny, yet still felt as though life had already started to end, which brought him to the decision to end his life.
He laid the suit, the timepiece, and a handwritten letter as he planned his own demise, and tried a couple of comfortable positions on the bed and in the shower for when he decided to pull the trigger on himself.
Kenny reappeared in the evening after a harsh day, finding George ordering a drink at the bar, which later led to a short and brief date night before both of them agreed to take a swim.
After a night spent with Kenny and conversing with his young wisdom, George discovers the student has hidden his gun in his arms to prevent suicide while fast asleep on the sofa of the neighbouring room. George realises he has rediscovered the ability to feel rather than think, locks the weapon away, and burns his suicide notes, deciding to live.
“I can never make these moments last. I cling to them, but like everything, they fade. I’ve lived my life on these moments; they pull me back to the present. And I realised that everything is exactly the way it's meant to be.”
Fate intervenes just as George makes peace with his grief and decides to move forward after saying those words to himself, and he suffers a sudden, fatal heart attack.
In his final moments, George envisions Jim appearing greet him with a kiss on the cheek.
The beautiful setting and meaning of the film really caught my attention and interest. Something about the colours, the relaxed atmosphere, the acting, and the different kinds of cinematic music made it sink in me more deeply.
Mr Ford has said in an Interview with Lady Kinvara Balfour in April 2014 at Regent Street Apple Store, that despite critics saying that it’s an awfully depressing film, it should also be focused on the message. That is, people are always wasting their lives worrying about the future, and sometimes, when the time comes for them to come to their senses, it might just be too late.
While that is very true, as a Muslim-born Malaysian who was raised around religious influence in a way, the part that interests me the most was the final vision. After recently losing my sister, I was pressured to feel guilty for her passing.
Despite mostly referring to the Holy scriptures and understanding the concept of the afterlife, many (around me) are programmed to believe that there is only life on this planet, while whatever happens after would be a strong and indefinite judgment and punishment.
People rarely accept the idea of what they call “meninggal” (leaving), where souls would leave the bodies to be free. Even if they do, they would never really grasp the connection of spirituality as some would think of it as ‘syirik’, in fear of believing in something other than God.
Previously, after losing my mother, I had a dream of her with long, old Hollywood hair, a blush pink satin gown, sitting on the armchair next to the side table, talking to the telephone. She called, and I answered the phone.
"Hello... It's me, I'm on my way back home, take care of yourself, okay? Don't worry, I'll always be with you, my son... Just like how you had always been there for me"
In another dream, she was reunited with my late Brit stepfather, whom she was married to some time in 2010. Saying that life is weird and God is great, as she never got to spend much time with him, but at last, they are together again.
It is a complex issue to discuss when it comes to attachment, as it not only relates to relationships that you have with another being, but also your attachment to faith.
Being attached to someone can, without a doubt, bring one to an early grave, but like it or not, grieving is a phase that one must go through to heal and to move forward, while the attachment to beliefs and religion can influence the outcome of what is to come during grieving.
But, wouldn’t it be more freeing and peaceful to have a personal narrative, one that would make more sense individually, rather than being influenced by what seems to be ‘accepted’?
Qadeem Zieman (mrshaher.official@gmail.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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