I OFTEN hear parents sigh, “Kids these days are too fragile… they can’t handle pressure like we used to.”
Labels such as the “Strawberry Generation” have become increasingly common, referring to young people who appear bright and polished yet seem to bruise easily under stress. However, the issue runs deeper than fragility. It reflects a fundamental shift in how this generation experiences pressure, support and emotional connection.
The term “strawberry generation”, first coined in Taiwan in the 1990s, was used to describe young people who appeared unable to withstand pressure. Today, it is often applied broadly to millennials and Generation Z.
Yet, as a psychologist, I believe this stereotype oversimplifies a far more complex reality. Young people today are not weak by choice; rather, they are growing up in a world where physical hardship may be less visible but emotional pressures are often more intense and persistent.
This growing emotional strain is already evident in national data. The Malaysian Youth Mental Health Index 2023 reported that approximately six in 10 Malaysian youths aged 15 to 30 experienced mild to severe depressive symptoms while three in 10 reported moderate to severe anxiety symptoms.
More concerningly, one in 10 reported suicidal ideation. These findings suggest that the issue extends far beyond perceptions of “softness” and points instead to a significant generational mental health challenge that deserves serious attention.
Why is this happening? Parenting is one key piece of the puzzle. Today, parents carry the emotional load alone. Many are exhausted, juggling long working hours, leaving them with limited bandwidth for deep connections. Without emotional presence, children turn to achievement or others’ approval to define their worth.
Additionally, many parents who grew up facing hardship a few decades ago now say, “I don’t want you to suffer like I did”. Out of love, this often leads to children being pampered or overly protected, shielded from frustration, disappointment or even simple daily responsibilities.
It is a loving intention but sometimes this can deprive children of the small struggles that build resilience, such as problem-solving, frustration tolerance and the ability to cope with discomfort.
A child who never learns to fall will not learn how to rise. Moreover, family dynamics have undergone significant changes. The “kampung spirit”, once a natural safety net for children, has faded.
Grandparents, cousins, neighbours and others formed the emotional backbone of earlier generations through extended support systems. And when this community support fades, so does a powerful source of resilience.
Fewer adults are available to offer guidance, perspective or comfort, leaving many children to navigate stress with a much smaller emotional safety net.
Technology amplifies pressure in ways previous generations never experienced. Social media offers unprecedented opportunities for connection but it also creates a culture of constant comparison.
Young people increasingly evaluate their worth through likes, views and followers, often measuring their lives against carefully curated snapshots of others’ successes. While these platforms can foster connection, they can also leave many young people feeling inadequate, excluded or as though they are falling behind.
Paradoxically, despite being more digitally connected than any generation before them, many young people report experiencing profound loneliness.
A recent study involving 33,523 Malaysian youths found that 16.2% reported experiencing loneliness, which further relates to various mental health issues.
Online interactions often create the illusion of connection without providing the depth, emotional support and sense of belonging that come from meaningful face-to-face relationships.
A young lady may have hundreds of online friends and followers yet still feel unseen, misunderstood or isolated. Loneliness is not simply the absence of people; it is the absence of meaningful connection.
Many youths also turn to digital platforms not only for entertainment but as a way of escaping stress, boredom or emotional discomfort. While distraction may provide temporary relief, it does not resolve underlying difficulties.
When worries are avoided rather than addressed, they tend to accumulate, undermining confidence, increasing emotional overload and heightening the risk of anxiety, depression and other mental health difficulties over time.
As genuine social connections weaken, feelings of loneliness can become more persistent, creating a cycle in which young people seek comfort online while becoming increasingly disconnected from the relationships that best support their emotional well-being.
Parents are not immune to these challenges. Many are equally absorbed by digital demands, responding to work messages, scrolling through social media or managing online responsibilities long after working hours have ended.
Although often unintentional, this can reduce emotional availability within the family. As a result, young people may find themselves more digitally connected than ever before, yet emotionally disconnected from the relationships that matter most.
In sum, although today’s children grow up with their basic needs comfortably met – including food, safety, education and opportunity – many still struggle with deeper emotional needs: feeling loved, feeling that they belong and feeling good about themselves.
Psychologist Abraham Maslow once highlighted that these emotional needs are as essential as physical ones for building confidence and resilience. Yet, this is where the gap often lies today.
Parents may be physically present but emotionally stretched, leaving little room for meaningful conversations or support.
At the same time, expectations for academic excellence and future success remain high. When belonging is weak but expectations are heavy, children may appear accomplished yet feel lost, high-achieving on the outside but anxious and uncertain on the inside.
So, how do we rebuild resilience? It begins at home. Although it may sound clichéd, parents must be emotionally present: listening, validating and reassuring children that their worth is not defined by academic achievements, social media approval or external recognition.
In a digital age where comparison is constant and attention is fragmented, children need adults who can provide a sense of stability, belonging and unconditional support.
At the same time, it may be time for both parents and children to reconnect with the real world beyond their screens. Across many parts of the world, there is growing recognition of the value of spending time in nature, engaging in hands-on activities and nurturing genuine human connections.
Simple experiences such as outdoor play, gardening, drawing, sewing, cooking, sports and face-to-face conversations help children develop patience, creativity, problem-solving skills and emotional regulation. These are life skills that cannot be learned through a screen.
Parents also need to allow children to experience manageable challenges rather than shielding them from every disappointment or discomfort. Struggle, when accompanied by support and guidance, is not harmful, it is how resilience is built.
Children who learn to overcome setbacks, solve problems independently and tolerate frustration develop the confidence that they can cope with future difficulties.
In contrast, protecting children from every challenge may provide short-term comfort but can leave them ill-prepared for the inevitable pressures of adult life.
A plant raised in a greenhouse grows quickly but not strongly; it bends at the slightest touch of wind. But a plant that grows outdoors, weathering the wind and sun, develops deep, resilient roots. Children are the same. Supported struggles are what build emotional endurance.
Rebuilding community matters too. Reviving even small elements of the community spirit, such as shared meals, intergenerational conversations and reconnecting with neighbours, can restore the sense of belonging that strengthens young minds.
Confidence grows from competence, not comparison. These steps may seem simple but together they revive what comfort has quietly eroded: grit, gratitude and inner strength.
The so-called strawberry generation is not fundamentally fragile; they are just experiencing a world where traditional resilience has diminished. Still, we must avoid broad labels and generalisations.
Many young people today are thriving, compassionate, adaptable and driven. But acknowledging the shifts in their emotional environment allows us to better support those who struggle.
Every generation faces its own battles. For some, it was physical hardship; for today’s youths, it is emotional saturation, issues with life purpose and expectations, digital challenges and constant comparison in modern life.
What matters is not who had it harder but how we help the next generation rise with confidence and purpose. Resilience is not the absence of struggle; it is the courage to rise again.
And the strawberries of today can still grow into strong, deep-rooted trees that weather any storm, if we nurture their roots with connection, empathy and challenge.
Assoc Prof Dr Madihah Mohamad Shukri is a health psychologist at Universiti Malaysia Terengganu. Her research focuses on mental health, resilience and psychosocial well-being in contemporary society. Comments: letters@thesundaily.com