Valentine’s Day is a fun way to show some extra love to our loved ones by going on special dates, dining at places you wouldn’t normally go to and buying them gifts. However, this can be quite financially burdensome to some people, which can put strain on their relationships.
So, let’s remind ourselves of the important things that make a happy and lasting relationship. We asked twelve Malaysians, some of whom are married and some not, how they know that their partners are THE ONE for them.
1. “I feel comfortable, safe and secure in our relationship”
Status: Been in a relationship for almost a year
Like many of us, Clary often finds herself feeling insecure in her romantic relationships even though she’s outwardly confident. However, with her current boyfriend she’s never felt insecure and that’s how she knows he’s the one.
“I can just be myself and he’ll love me no matter how I look or behave. He always gives me little compliments and tells me he loves me every day. That’s why I don’t feel insecure anymore.”
Clary also loves how her boyfriend takes care of her the way a father would take care of his daughter (in the best way possible!). This concept can be summed up by the Mandarin internet buzzword, “爹系男友”, which refers to a boyfriend who’s mature, stable and reliable.
2. “He rescued a stray cat in the rain”
Status: Been in a relationship for five years
For Lisa, what a man does or doesn’t do says a lot about him. So, it took her only one incident for her to be sure that he’s the one.
“I knew he was the one when he stopped in the rain to rescue a stray cat!”
3. “She’d ALWAYS be there for me when I need her”
Status: Dated for 8 years and have been married for a little over a year
Amirul and his wife had been through a lot of challenges in their eight years of dating before finally tying the knot last year.
Of all eight years they were together, five was spent doing long distance where Amirul was in KL and his then-girlfriend in Kedah. So the process of getting to know each other over the phone (without unlimited calls plans!) was quite lengthy lah, a bit like a slow burn romance.
However, his girlfriend never left, even when Amirul was at his worst. “She’d ALWAYS be there for me when I need her. I still remember how both of us walked 10km and took public transport just to pass our CV to companies.” And that’s how Amirul knew his wife was the one.
4. “When he said he’s into cleaning”
Status: Married for almost two years
Similar to Clary, Suzanna knew that her beau was a keeper when she didn’t feel insecure about herself, and my appearance. “I don’t feel the need to dress-to-impress him, only if I want to,” she said.
Of course, bonus points to him when he also said that “he’s into cleaning and can ‘tebar” roti canai, which he actually made from scratch!”
5. “He keeps me grounded”
Status: Married, been together since 1996
high school sweethearts
“There’s been ups and downs like any other relationships, especially because he’s my polar opposite. But I knew he was the one because he keeps me grounded.”
According to Hanim, her husband doesn’t blindly agree or disagree with her just because she’s his girlfriend or wife. It’s because he has a reason for thinking that he’s right, which Hanim admits he usually is.
“After 27 years, my heart still skips a beat whenever I look at him and my three children. I still feel the same way I did all those years ago.”
Can we have what they have please…
6. “The feeling and confidence I find in our relationship is totally different from my past relationships”
To Camilla, being with a partner of a similar wavelength is important. “My husband and I have so much to talk about. He laughs at my jokes and vice versa. There is never a boring moment with him, even if we’re not talking or doing anything. We just enjoy being together in the same space and time.”
According to Camilla, it became clearer to her that her husband is the one after they got married.
“The feeling and confidence I find in our relationship is totally different from my past relationships.”
She also added that being with her husband now helps her understand why her past relationships didn’t work out. “I’m glad that we can see each other not just as husband and wife, but also as best friends and mentors to each other.”
7. “You know one”
Status: Was in a relationship for six years and now married for five years
Nasri met his wife 10 years ago when they attended university together and according to him, you’ll just know if they’re the one.
“Honestly it never felt like a relationship. I think if you’re in a relationship and it just feels like you’re hanging out with your bestfriend, you know one.”
we’re Malay and we’ve been together for like 6 years before we got married so it was the most logical step.”
8. “Because he can tahan my attitude, you know?”
Status: Been in a relationship for three years
Knowing herself, Alena admitted that she’s not the best at expressing her emotions so she’ll tend to have outbursts. But when these outbursts happen, her boyfriend seldom raises his voice at her and will talk slowly to her to help her figure out what she’s feeling.
“I know I want to spend the rest of my life with this person cause he can tahan my attitude, ya know?”
Alena also added that, “he includes (her) in everything – from his friend gatherings to the sports that he plays. He works hard so that he can buy me fancier dinners and desserts.”
“He’s also supportive of everything I do and every little step I take. Of course, he also has his own shortcomings but who doesn’t, right?”
So, where can we find one?
9 “He has a big heart”
Status: Been in a relationship for five years
For Malekah, it was her boyfriend’s heart that won her heart. “I know he’s the one because of how kindly and positively he thinks, speaks of and treats others.”
According to Malekah, her boyfriend always tries to wish others luck and happiness, even when they’ve been mean to him because “we never know what other people have been through.”
“He has a big heart for others and I think that’s what I love about him.”
Throughout the years of being together, Malekah also thinks that she’s changed into a better person because of him. “I used to be the most difficult person but now, I’m more calm and easygoing, not holding on to things that will bring me negativity.”
10. “He never gave up on me, even when I tried to push him away”
Status: Been in a relationship for five years
Dorathy’s love story is a bit unconventional. Five years ago, she went on Omegle and met her now boyfriend. They were friends at first, then fell in love. However, they had difficulties planning a future together as he lives in Belgium, which made Dorathy want to end things.
“He volunteered to come over, but Covid-19 hit and the borders were closed. I wanted to end things, as the future was bleak. Used my parents concerns as an excuse to push him away.”
It turned out that fate had other plans for them because a week later, borders reopened and Dorathy’s boyfriend flew to Malaysia! “He spoke to my parents and the rest is history. Now we’re working towards moving in together this year.”
“I’m sure because he never gave up on me – even when I tried to push him away.”
11. “They make you a better version of yourself.”
Status: Been in a relationship for more than a year
To Nel, she knows her boyfriend is the one because he makes her a better version of herself. “He’s able to fight for me as well as fight against me.”
“If he sees that I’m getting treated unfairly, he is not afraid to fight for me (something I don’t usually get, not even from my own family). On the other hand, if he sees me being irrational he is not afraid to fight against me, which is good for my development because I get to learn to be more rational and be a better, more mature version of myself.”
12. “She respects me even when we fight”
Status: Been in a relationship for five years
Danial and his girlfriend are in a long-distance relationship. Although they don’t get to meet often, they always make sure to chat and update each other on their lives every day.
However, what makes Danial sure of his girlfriend is the way they fight. “She never calls me names or use insulting and abusive words.”
Everyone is too cute! WORLD OF BUZZ wishes everyone a Happy Valentine’s Day. May you guys also find your bestfriend, mentor, 爹系男友 (father-like boyfriend), partner and companion!
This post first appeared on WORLD OF BUZZ.
