The recent viral news in Malaysia involving two children, their uncle, and their grandmother has left many people feeling angry, conflicted, and deeply unsettled. According to reports and CCTV footage, a heated disagreement escalated within the household. One clip shows a 12-year-old boy behaving aggressively toward his grandmother (Source: Facebook Post), while another later shows the uncle reacting harshly toward the children (Source: Facebook Post).
Some say the uncle went too far (Source: Comments under China Press's Facebook Post).
Some say the child’s behaviour was already alarming (Source: Comments under China Press's Facebook Post).
Some ask, “Who is really at fault?”
But the more I think about it, the clearer it becomes: this is not simply a story about a “bad child” or an “out-of-control adult.” It is a story about adult failure, from the very beginning.
And honestly? It makes me feel that some people in this world are simply not ready or qualified to bring the next generation into existence.
Let’s be very clear:
A child showing hostility toward an elderly family member is deeply troubling.
An adult beating a child until injuries occur is also horrifying.
Both actions are wrong. There is no justification for either.
But if we stop at blaming only the uncle and the child, we are being lazy. Because violence doesn’t appear out of nowhere. Children are not born knowing how to threaten, dominate, or hurt. They learn. They absorb. They mirror.
A child comes into this world with no choice.
They don’t choose their parents.
They don’t choose their environment.
They don’t choose chaos, neglect, or trauma.
They arrive like a blank piece of paper, and adults are the ones who scribble on it.
In this case, the background matters. The child’s father was reportedly a drug user who abused his wife. The marriage failed. The mother had to leave for Singapore to work, trying to survive and provide. The children were left behind, passed between adults, grandparents, whoever was “free” at the time.
This is what people like to call “someone is taking care.”
But let me ask honestly: what does “taking care” really mean?
Is it the same as feeding a dog, giving water, and letting it roam freely outside the house? As long as it’s alive, we say we did our job? If the dog grows up biting people, destroying things, peeing and shitting everywhere, do we say, “It’s just born bad”?
Of course not.
Yet we do this to children all the time.
Free-range parenting without guidance is not freedom; it is abandonment. Children raised without emotional education, boundaries, or consistent care don’t magically grow into stable humans. They grow into confused, angry, impulsive beings who don’t know how to process fear, frustration, or rejection.
Yes, humans are animals too.
The environment shapes behaviour.
Neglect shapes personality.
When a child shows extreme aggression, it is not proof that the child is evil. It is proof that something has gone terribly wrong long before the incident.
Does that excuse the child’s actions? No.
Does that excuse the uncle losing control and beating them? Also no.
But let’s stop pretending this is an isolated explosion. This is the result of years of unresolved adult problems, passed down until the weakest person absorbs the damage.
The uncle didn’t wake up one day wanting to become violent.
The child didn’t wake up one day wanting to hurt his grandmother.
Pressure, trauma, neglect, resentment, they stack. And one day, they overflow. The real tragedy is this: adults who were never healed chose to become parents. Adults who couldn’t regulate their own emotions, couldn’t maintain healthy relationships, couldn’t take responsibility for their own lives, yet brought another life into the mess, and when everything collapses, the child becomes the sandbag for adult failure.
If you are not emotionally mature,
If you cannot control your anger,
If you are still broken inside,
If you don’t know how to teach empathy, boundaries, and responsibility, then please, I beg you: the first child you need to take care of is yourself.
Heal first. Grow first. Learn first.
Don’t let hormones of procreation run rampant, giving birth without education, without intention, without accountability. A child is not a tool to fix your loneliness, your failed marriage, or your financial insecurity.
Every child who had no choice in coming into this world deserves gentleness, not to become the price paid for adult incompetence.
The uselessness of an adult should never be paid for by a child.
And until we start holding parents accountable, not just when things go viral, but from the very beginning, these tragedies will keep repeating, again and again, under different headlines, with different faces, but the same broken root.
Because when adults fail, children bleed.
Felicia Yoan (feliciayoan11@gmail.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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