I saw a video on Instagram of a young, beautiful girl saying very confidently to a group of people that she does not like makeup. She is “against” it and thinks that it is not good for women.
She goes on to say that makeup capitalizes on women’s insecurities and that it takes away a woman’s natural beauty.
Men in the comments section left hundreds of messages of support, calling her “the perfect dream girl” or “my girl” and more, saying that she’s got it right and that they can’t stand women who wear makeup.
The first thing that came to my mind was this girl had clearly never been bullied for her looks.
Secondly, the people in the comment section applauding “natural beauty” were also the same people who would bully a woman for not looking like a star when she has no makeup on.
The girl in the video is indeed naturally gorgeous with beautiful skin, an attractive healthy glow, thick shiny hair and eyelashes, and perfect teeth, blessed with natural beauty from her head to her toes.
She is speaking from a privileged standpoint – from her rosy world of good skin and good genes. She forgets that by saying so flippantly that women don’t need makeup, she is undermining our insecurities, life experiences, trauma and emotional pain.
There are also people who love to say, “Just love yourself and accept yourself and you’ll be fine”. To them, I say you’ve probably never been bullied for your looks either.
I’m a strong supporter of whatever makes a woman happy. I believe that women should be able to do what they need to do to feel stronger, safer, and more confident in such a critical, harsh and judgmental world.
Whether you want to wear makeup or not, no one in this world should be able to comment on it. Personally for me, makeup acts like a shield against bullying and I tell you this based on my own harrowing experiences.
I have been called a number of things to my face when I dared to venture out without makeup. This happened throughout most of my teenage years and adult life, all the way up to my early thirties. Ugly is one of them. Other remarks include “Did you not bathe this morning?” or “Are you sick?” or “You look like you have kusta (leprosy)” and “Why is your face like that?” or “Why is your skin so oily?” or “Why are you so pale?” followed by a disgusted look.
I had a male companion once who said to me, “You lied to me
with makeup. You looked so good with it and now I see you without it and you
look terrible.” Can you imagine the impact that had on my psyche?
The most painful comment came from a male colleague who walked up to me while I was working in my cubicle and said “I cannot stand your face without makeup”. Without meaning to, I burst into tears, ran to the bathroom, and contemplated telling my HR Manager about what transpired.
But this was 12 years ago and no one was reprimanded for such things. Even if I did file a complaint, nothing would have been done and the situation within the team would have become strained.
The male colleague saw me crying but instead of saying sorry, he gave me a haughty look and proceeded to ignore me for the rest of the day.
Sadly, this is “normal” in the city where I come from, where
most people think that the people that they are bullying should just keep quiet
and accept it all as "advice" or as a "joke".
I’ve also had fat hairy men working in the office canteens shouting out remarks like “Why do you always look like you never bathe?” or “Why do you look like you just rolled out of bed and came to work?”
Trust me when I say I did everything I could to achieve a "healthy, naturally glowing" look. I went for facials, visited the dermatologist and went to the hairdresser every few days to "tame" my wild and messy hair.
I also used to be incredibly skinny even though I ate huge portions 5 times a day. So I would be called “skinny like a skeleton”. Some people would ask “jokingly” if I shopped at the children’s department.
When I got upset, the bullies would get upset that I got upset. They would justify their remarks as “jokes” but they were not funny to me.
So yes, makeup can act as a shield for many women. It did for me because words hurt and I had to do what I could to minimize the unwanted comments and remarks.
In all honesty, I personally do not enjoy the process of applying makeup. It is exhausting and time-consuming. Instead of sleeping in an extra 30 minutes, I would have to get up at the crack of dawn. It is also expensive and not exactly good for the skin.
I don’t even use a lot, just the very basic for a “fresh”
and “wide-eyed look” but it does make a difference. What else can we
do, as women, trying to juggle this life as we know it and come out unharmed and unscathed from life's daily challenges?
In this modern world, women are expected to have a career,
have a partner, be the perfect homemaker and look spectacular while doing it
all. We're also supposed to be able to take harsh criticisms with a pinch of salt - like we're not human, like we are not allowed to have feelings.
Some of us have mental issues like depression, anxiety and childhood trauma, and simple things like jumping out of bed at the crack of dawn or just getting out of bed can be a phenomenal feat, let alone looking amazing while doing it all.
I guess all I’m saying is life is tough and words hurt, and people should not
be allowed to comment on other people’s looks. Why not just be kind, and leave people's looks alone?
I feel that it should be law, or at the very least, a very strict rule, and I say this as someone who has cried countless times because of this.
Diana Abd is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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