A FORMER entrepreneur was motivated to become a professional caregiver for the elderly after taking care of her own mother, an 86-year-old dementia patient who suffered from a stroke.
Caring for her mother taught Norsharipah Lokeman many life lessons. She also gained experience that one would never learn from books or nursing school.
“My mum is the reason why I was moved to get into care giving, though, it was not my line of work. I was an entrepreneur; however, when I do caregiving services, I feel fulfilled,” said Norsharipah, who is also known as Sherry Lokeman.
Her mother was a very healthy person. Suddenly, she started losing her memory after a stroke. “Initially, I could not accept it,” admitted the caregiver, who struggled to deal with her mother’s condition. To make matters worse, her mum, Hajah Timah, also had osteoporosis.
At first, she did not know what to do and “blindly did everything”. Then, she searched for YouTube videos and learned how to change adult diapers, how to deal with emotional stress, and how to manage when her mother does not sleep for two or three days in a row.
After years of caring for the mother’s health, and wellbeing and helping with daily tasks and activities, she realised that caring for others gave her satisfaction, and this led her to begin her care-giving journey.
She enrolled herself in Sahara Academy and underwent training sessions for CPR, as well as caregiver training. The 54-year-old is now a professional caregiver with Homage Care Services.
Homage Care Services provides trained care professionals to adults and seniors and offers services such as Activities of Daily Living (ADL) assistance, assisting those with mobility and medical conditions such as dementia, stroke, Parkinson’s, and cancer.
As a professional caregiver, she takes care of senior citizens suffering from multiple conditions such as occipital stroke, osteoporosis and dementia, as well as partly bedridden care recipients, ever since she joined Homage three years ago.
“My heart is with them. When I was doing my business, I felt good when the sales were good, but when I took care of the sick and elderly, I felt satisfaction from deep down inside me. I feel satisfied with my work because I am doing good to people. I don’t have much money, but when I care for them, both emotionally and physically, I feel really good,” she revealed.
Speaking about her mother’s dementia, she said patients often forget where they are and what they are doing. Her mother often forgets whether she has eaten her lunch.
“When you lose memory, you forget who you are,” she said, adding that dementia patients often live in their own worlds.
However, everyone doesn’t behave the same way, and that is the biggest challenge. One of her dementia patients was frustrated, and got angry and started throwing things.
“I held their hands and started to rub to calm the patient. Sometimes they will listen and other times they won’t. When they get into an angry episode or turn aggressive, they will do things like bend spoons. In such moments, I had to step back from the situation,” she said.
She recalled a moment when her mother started shouting for no reason. “It’s not who she is. She is not crazy, she just lost her memory. Some of the dementia patients would run out of the house and forget the way back home.”
At times, dementia patients can’t feel the pain when they hurt themselves during an angry episode. After recovering from the episode, they won’t even know why they felt the pain at a particular spot or how they got themselves injured.
Get help and don’t abuse
She advised children and spouses living with dementia patients to “not take it to heart” when they behave badly because they are not themselves. “You have to really understand their condition and not abuse the elderly, physically or verbally.”
Senior citizens, who are at risk for abuse are those who are dependent and have a lower income or suffer from poor physical health, mental impairment or excessive stress due to chronic fatigue.
According to her, some elderly people are not given food, or are left sitting with soiled diapers or get caught up in fights when they are not themselves. These are some of the acts which she also considers as abuse.
She related an incident when a senior was left with soiled diapers for hours, until she showed up for duty at 2pm. “If you don’t tend to their needs, even if you are not talking to them, it is considered abuse to me,” she said.
In another incident, she visited an in-home care recipient and found her lying a pool of blood on the floor of the room. It turned out that the elderly woman had forgotten that she could no longer walk and attempted to do so, resulting in her falling and injuring her head.
These were some of the challenging moments she had to face at work, but it has not deterred her from continuing with her passion. Instead, she advises family members to take care of their vulnerable elders, and not wait for the care professional to appear on their doorstep to provide help.
A responsible caregiver
Despite differences when it comes to handling her own mother and other care recipients, she finds that there is a similarity. In both situations, she had to learn to be patient.
“When you take on the role of a caregiver, you have to be very sensitive and alert. When you enter their room, you have to smile and not show a sour face. [Patients] love to hear people singing or telling jokes,” she said.
In fact, her cheerful and bubbly personality and exceptional care made it easy for her to bond well with the family members of the in-home patients and they usually request her to come back to assist their parents.
She cherishes these relationships with the family members, but she focuses more on building a relationship with the care recipients as it’s more important for her.
If a family is unable to care for the elderly, then their children should engage a professional caregiver to come to their house. “Please take care and don’t leave them alone in their world. They need our support to do basic things in daily life. As humans, we have to take care of our elderly,” she advised.