Recently, I overheard a conversation that got me thinking deeply about expectations, generosity, and the way we approach traditional customs. It was about my friend's aunty, who felt a sense of disappointment during Chinese New Year (CNY) when visiting her friend. Here’s what happened: the aunty has one child, while her friend has four. Every time the aunty visited her friend, she expected a larger angpao (red envelope) for her son, as her friend, knowing that the aunty would give four angpaos to her children, should give more in return. However, the friend continued to give only a small amount.
At first, I was taken aback by how much weight the aunty placed on the amount of money in the red envelope. After all, isn’t the purpose of visiting friends and family during CNY to celebrate together and share in the joy of the season, rather than to tally up red envelopes?
My perspective is that the aunty may have been looking at things the wrong way. A guest should not expect more than what is offered, and it’s important to remember that giving angpao is a gesture of goodwill, not a calculation of how much you "should" receive. After all, it's not about comparing the amounts; it’s about the blessing behind it. The expectation that one must give a certain amount can create unnecessary tension and take away from the true spirit of the holiday.
Moreover, we must consider the deeper significance of the angpao. Traditionally, these red envelopes are a form of blessing from the elder to the younger generation, a wish for good fortune, prosperity, and health. It's not meant to be a transaction or an exchange of money. So when we start measuring the value of an angpao by its monetary worth, we lose sight of the real meaning.
The truth is, receiving angpao is like a long-term journey, not a short-term win. If you truly care about the money, perhaps you should ask your child to avoid marriage so they can keep receiving red envelopes well into their 30s! But in the grand scheme of things, the amount of money in a red envelope doesn’t really matter. It’s a token, a symbol of love, and a reminder of our shared culture.
If someone gives you a small angpao, it doesn’t mean they value you any less. And if your friend doesn’t meet your expectations, perhaps the issue isn’t about the money but about how we view generosity. Generosity is not about keeping score; it's about sharing in the joy and the spirit of the season, and respecting each other’s abilities and preferences.
So, let’s remember that during CNY, receiving an angpao is about blessings, not balance sheets. Whether the envelope is thick or thin, it carries good wishes and nothing more. After all, the joy of the holiday should not be determined by what’s inside the red envelope.
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