Finding my way Home

Family & Parenting
11 Sep 2024 • 1:30 PM MYT
Fa Abdul
Fa Abdul

FA ABDUL is a former columnist of Malaysiakini & Free Malaysia Today (FMT).

Image from: Finding my way Home
Home is where I am celebrated for simply being me (photo credit: Fa Abdul)

Home means something different to each of us. For some, it's a place of safety or a space filled with familiar sights and sounds. For me, home means "existing"—in the fullest sense.

Home is where I am seen, acknowledged, and heard. It’s where I am never invisible, where my presence matters, and where my well-being is a priority.

Home is where mom tells dad not to make too much noise because I’m still asleep. It’s where they knock on my door with ginger tea and a plate of fruit, just because they care.

Home is where dad, without hesitation, hands me the TV remote, pretending he wasn’t engrossed in his program. It’s where mom gently brushes my hair with her fingers as I lay on the couch, lost in my favorite shows.

These are the quiet gestures that say, "I love you," without a single word being spoken.

Home is where I am made to feel every emotion, deeply and fully—where I am reminded that I am worthy, just as I am. It’s the place where I never have to strive to be enough because, here, I always am.

It’s where I’m celebrated not just for milestones or achievements, but for simply being me, every single day, for no reason at all.

Coming full circle

Life has often taken me far from home, each journey a chapter of its own, filled with lessons, memories, and moments of growth. But no matter where life led me, every time I returned home, my heart felt light. There was never any heaviness, no resistance pulling me away.

And now, at 50, I am home for good. It feels as though life has come full circle, as if all those journeys were always meant to be temporary—a series of brief stops before finally returning to where my soul truly feels at peace.

One day, my children will go through this same journey, and they’ll have to define what home means to them. Maybe they’ll find it in a place, maybe in people, or maybe even within themselves. But for now, as they carve their own paths and explore where life will take them in this vast, unpredictable world, they will have my blessings.

And I hope, one day, they too will return to their home.

Life has a way of taking us to unexpected places, pulling us in directions we never saw coming. But in the end, it’s love that brings us home—the love of family, of belonging, of knowing there’s always a place where you are seen, cherished, and celebrated, just as you are.


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