Iman Wan Tuck Meng, 58, has devoted his life to raising Adam, his 23-year-old non-verbal son with autism. Before this, Iman had a thriving career as a marketing director for a recording label. "I relished my work," he shares, recalling his time as a songwriter and composer working with top local artists like Datuk Siti Nurhaliza, Amy Mastura, and Dayang Nurfaezah. Iman also contributed to Malaysian television, including Akademi Fantasia in its early days. "That was my world," he says simply.
Iman's life changed dramatically when he discovered Adam was autistic. As a toddler, Adam showed signs like lack of eye contact and other behaviors that raised concern. Seeking answers, Iman and his wife visited the Child Development Centre at Hospital Canselor Tuanku Muhriz UKM, where Adam was diagnosed with autism. A later evaluation revealed he also had ADHD. Reflecting on those early years, Iman shares: "You have to imagine that this was like 20 years ago; you could hardly find information about autism." With limited resources and awareness in Malaysia during the early 2000s, understanding Adam's diagnosis was a challenge.
In the beginning, Iman hoped Adam’s condition would improve on its own. For two years, they held onto this hope, thinking he would eventually talk. "We always thought that he'd eventually talk," Iman recalls. “But by the age of 7 or 8, we had to accept that he wasn't going to. It got me thinking and worrying about what we were to do with our boy.” Driven to help Adam, Iman and his wife began exploring early childhood interventions, but their options were limited, and most available programs were prohibitively expensive. "The more affordable ones were nothing more than daycare instead of proper therapy, you know?" he sighs.
They eventually learned about Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy, an effective approach for children with autism. However, the high costs made it out of reach. Determined to provide Adam with the best education possible, they enrolled him in a private school with specialized support. "We paid an arm and a leg for it," Iman admits, "but the cost became too much for us to continue."
Adam's school journey was challenging, with each transition adding stress. As he entered his pre-teen years, Adam’s rebelliousness increased, sometimes leading to harm. "We had to take him out for his safety and the teachers'," Iman explains. For parents like Iman, raising an autistic child can be emotionally and financially taxing. "There's not enough emphasis on caregivers when you talk about autism," Iman says. "Parents are stressed out, and it's not easy going through life. On top of that, you have to take care of a challenging child, which makes everything super stressful."
Initially, Iman's wife bore the brunt of caregiving while he focused on his career. But as Adam’s needs grew, Iman realized he needed to be home more. "My wife needed me," he says. "So, when I had to stay at home more often, it affected my work." Balancing caregiving and career demands became overwhelming, and the financial strain increased. "There's so much to handle when you're bringing up a child on the spectrum," Iman shares. "Raising a child like that requires a lot of money. Everything is expensive, from therapies to proper food."
Eventually, Iman left his thriving career to be Adam’s full-time caregiver. "It wasn’t an easy decision," he admits. “I had to give up my future, my plans and my dreams—for Adam.” Becoming Adam's primary caregiver was a huge adjustment. "I thought I could go out and do business at first. But being with Adam meant staying with him 24/7," he recalls. "I became a stay-at-home dad." The change from his professional life to full-time caregiver led to frustration and resentment. "I became a miserable and angry guy," he admits.
Adam’s unpredictable behaviors demanded Iman’s full attention. "Taking care of a challenging autistic child affects you mentally and emotionally," he says. “I don't have a social life, I don't go out. So, it's just me and my son.” Adam’s inability to communicate his needs often leads to frustration and aggression. "I've become his punching bag," Iman says wryly, showing scars on his hands. "But I'm his dad, and frustrating or not, he's my responsibility. There's nothing I wouldn't do for him."
Iman’s journey as Adam's caregiver has been transformative. “I eventually found the good in struggles and that made me a better person in many ways. I've learnt to be more patient, more positive and appreciate the little wins.” Despite his sacrifices, Iman maintains a positive outlook. "Life isn't bad at all," he reflects. "I think parents with children on the spectrum have to come to terms with the fact that life is what it is. We have to find the good in our struggles."
After a pause, he adds, "My son is a gift to me, despite the challenges. He's made me a better person. I'm stronger, calmer, more confident, more grounded and at peace. What more can I ask for?"
Through Adam's Autism Family, Iman documents their family life, offering followers a glimpse into their daily challenges and triumphs. "Adam has so much potential," he says softly. “It's just that I can't provide him with everything he needs. We simply don't have that privilege.” His story resonates with many, capturing the depth of a father’s love and the resilience of families navigating life with autism.
Iman's story reminds us that, with love and resilience, even the most challenging journeys can become profoundly rewarding. His dedication to Adam has transformed his life in ways he never expected, showing the strength of a parent’s commitment and the beauty of finding joy in small victories. For those seeking inspiration, support, or simply a glimpse into their unique bond, you can follow Iman and Adam’s journey on Instagram and Facebook through Adam's Autism Family. Their story is a powerful reminder that love can truly conquer all.
Special thanks to Elena Koshy and Adam's Autism Family for inspiring this article.
Submit content about #SpreadPositivity and stand a chance to win prizes worth up to RM13,000, including RM10,000 in cash bonuses! Find out how you can participate here.
Aaron Colt is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
The User Content (as defined on Newswav Terms of Use) above including the views expressed and media (pictures, videos, citations etc) were submitted & posted by the author. Newswav is solely an aggregation platform that hosts the User Content. If you have any questions about the content, copyright or other issues of the work, please contact Newswav.
