Have you ever wondered why you’re doing so much for your boyfriend or girlfriend but they never seem to be satisfied? It could be because you’re not understanding the love languages that each of you speak!
Some relationship and love experts believe that when it comes to giving and receiving love, not everyone is the same – we speak different love languages. For example, for some people, their partner helping to do the laundry on a busy day can make them feel so much more loved than being told that they’re loved.
So, to make sure that your love doesn’t get lost in translation this Valentine’s Day, we’ve prepared a gift guide for each of the five love languages – words of affirmation, receiving gifts, quality time, acts of service, and physical touch.
But first, do this quiz to find out what your and your partner’s love language is!
1. Words of affirmation
If this is your love language, words carry a lot of weight, especially if they come from a loved one. You thrive on unsolicited compliments, praise and words of encouragement and appreciation whereas unkind words leave you devastated.
Hearing the words, “I love you”, means a lot, but hearing the reasons behind that love puts you on cloud nine.
So, the best gifts for a partner whose primary love language is words of affirmation are customised notes, cards or handicrafts with heartfelt messages!
- journal/photobook with a note
- their favourite book with little messages or notes from you
- custom playlist
- write a poem or song
- a good ol’ handwritten letter
- note jar with specific compliments and reassurance
Pro tip: Don’t say things just for the sake of saying them! Think deep about how you can honestly and genuinely affirm and reassure your partner.
2. Receiving gifts
For people with this love language, it’s the thought and effort behind the gift that makes them giddy.
If you want to go all out, prepare a gift box and fill it up with all of your partner’s favourite things. It’s the feeling of discovering each little gift that makes the experience more fun. Here’re some things you can include in the gift basket:
- Matching jewellery (they have an outlet in Lalaport, BBCC)
- Handmade gifts like a crochet flower bouquet and Valentine’s-themed cookies
- Their favourite snack/food/drink
- Their usual makeup/skincare that’s finished
Pro tip: Do and get things that show your partner that you’re thinking of them, you remember what they said, you went out of your way and that you’re INTENTIONAL in your gift.
3. Quality time
Somebody with this love language feels the most adored when you actively want to and make plans to hang out with them.
They particularly love having uninterrupted meaningful conversations or doing recreational activities together, with active listening, eye contact, and undivided attention.
It can be especially hurtful when you do things like use your phone while spending time together, watch a Netflix show without your partner after agreeing to watch it together, and postponing or cancelling plans without making new ones.
So, to give the gift of quality time this Valentine’s Day, try these ideas:
- Deep conversation starter card games like the “But Honestly” card game and the “We’re Not Really Strangers Couples Edition” card game
- Finding out what your partner’s ideal day looks like and planning it
- Buy activity kits and do them together (paint-by-number kit, air dry clay kit, matcha-making kit and gardening kit)
- Attend fun classes, workshops and activities together like a swing class, a sip and paint workshop or hiking at the Taman Tugu Hike Trails
Pro tip: For some people, being in the same room together and doing separate activities already counts as quality time. Find out what you and your partner considers quality time for the best results!
4. Acts of service
Those who receive love in this language feel the most cherished when their partners do things to ease their burden and make life more comfortable. These can be things like making them a cup of coffee, doing the dishes and booking the flight tickets.
According to 5 Love Languages, those who prefer this love language will see “laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them” as signs that their feelings don’t matter to you.
To go the extra mile this Valentine’s Day on the chores and other acts of service you’ve been showing on regular days, try these:
- Run a nice bath with candles, bath bombs and drinks for your loved one while you do the chores they hate the most
- Send them on a self-pampering day while you do a deep clean and organising of anything that both of you have been meaning to get done like the fridge, closet or toilet
- Meal prep for them or cook them a fancy meal
- Subscriptions- for car washes, house cleaning service
Pro tip: The most important part is that you have to do these acts of service without being asked and with a joyful heart. They’ll know if you’re coming from a place of obligation instead of love!
5. Physical touch
People with this love language feel appreciated and connected when they receive physical signs of affection from their loved one like hugging kissing, or cuddling.
According to 5 Love Languages, “appropriate and timely touches communicate warmth, safety, and love” to those who communicate in this language.
Additionally, “physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.”
If you’re a good partner, you’d already be sharing these physical touches regularly, so for Valentine’s Day, take it up a notch with these ideas:
- Learn some massage basics and give your partner an at-home massage
- Take a nice, luxurious bath together with some body scrubs
- Give your partner a home facial
- A movie night where you can cuddle
Pro tip: Although the physical touch love language is mainly non-sexual, some people may feel loved through sexual touches too. The most important thing is communication and consent!
Was this gift guide helpful? Good luck for Valentine’s!
This post first appeared on WORLD OF BUZZ.