Elvis Presley sings the song called ‘(You’re the) Devil In Disguise’. It is about a woman appearing angelic at first before he realises that she is devilish. Disguise means appearing to be something that they are not, especially intentionally and this goes beyond gender.
Identifying the people who silently scheme against us behind our back is necessary for they have a deep innate violence that can disrupt our lives and destroy everything we have been building.
Violence doesn’t necessarily means having a weapon in hand to assault us. Violence also means having negative thoughts such as angry thoughts, hateful thoughts and mentally strategising with an intention to harm us. It all starts in the mind before it turns into a burning desire to carry out the violent act.
The reason why they do what they are doing to us is because:
- They want us to suffer the way they suffered
- They have a sickening gratification to see our downfall
- They want to kill our spirit, our joy and destroy our hard work
- They find satisfaction in disrupting our lives
- They want to keep us under their control
- They do not want us to succeed in life
- They want to corner and isolate us
- They are inherently evil and nasty
- To avoid responsibility
- They seek attention
- They are envious
Relationship should be based on mutual respect, understanding and mindset growth. It is fine to be cordial and amicable with everyone. Nonetheless, listen intently to the conversation and watch the body language if there is any subtle hint of aggression towards us or another person.
Some of the subtle aggression to look out for:
- harping on a mistake, criticising, belittling and judging
- predicting a doomsday scenario, cursing, forcing us to quit or attempting to disrupt our work
- playing the victim card, blaming and constantly tearing away about how they have been wronged by us in the past
- asserting their opinions while ridiculing and arguing our opinion
- asking intrusive questions that makes us uncomfortable
- persistently demanding an answer
- making calls to our superiors or to the people around us so as to get us into trouble or dismissed from the organisation
- sending out anonymous letters with the intention to humiliate us
- twisting the question in a way that corner us, forcing us to defend ourselves
- yelling aggressively
- vulgar and harsh words
- behaving in a roguish manner
- gossiping and spreading rumours
It is best to keep the conversation short and relevant. Feeding them with information will only work against our own interests.
MORE EXAMPLES
The Manipulators:
They have a certain amount of power, someone or something in their possession and use it as a bargaining chip. They create obstacles or restrictions for us.
Guilt tripping, victimhood, blame game, passive-aggressive behaviour, gaslighting, silent treatment are among the tactics they engage to get what they want.
They ask questions and use the given answer by twisting it and use it against us; making us feel cornered, weak and guilty.
The Victim Player
They have the tendency to pull out past records and go into detail of how they have been betrayed, exploited and left to fend for themselves.
However, when we remind them of their own past atrocities, they feel hurt. It hurts them because we pointed out their cunning habitual pattern.
The Compulsive Liar
They lay claim over other’s tribulation as theirs. They do not honour their spoken words. Often there is an inconsistency in their storyline because they need to lie in order to cover up for the previous lies. Typically, they engage in stealing, forgery and fraud. These characters often appears to be pious and spew Gods name like lottery tickets.
The Coward
The men hide behind their wives or get their wives to handle a tricky situation. Similarly, the wives get their husband to settle a score and he appears with a boxing glove ready to show his prowess. In an organisation, a messenger will approach us on behalf of ‘the coward’.
The Control Freak
They pressure us to dress up in a certain way, of how to conduct ourselves, control our time and resources.
A bad attitude is like a flat tire. If you don’t change it, you won’t go anywhere ~ Joyce Meyer
The Reality Of Their Lives
- They will claim to be in a harmonious relationship and put up a ‘happy family’ front. If truth were to be revealed, the family members must be suffering in silence because any form of aggression starts within the inner circle before the ramification is felt by others. It must be a nightmare living with them.
- Due to their upbringing, limited interactions with others and world view, they choose ‘the survival of the fittest’ path. Which means outcompeting for limited resources for survival.
- They have insecurities and childhood unresolved issues. They carry their years of built-up pain, hurt, anger, frustration and stress. When a word uttered associated to their ‘sentiment point’, it will trigger them. As a result, they lash out as a coping mechanism. Which means they have not processed their emotions.
- They are powerless and feel their authority is being challenged. And so the need to put others down.
- They do not realise that their actions are out of self-loathing.
We have a life to live for. Our lives are like a garden; we should keep it pruned and manicured while keeping the pests out of the garden ~ Gee
Conclusion
Only a strong character will acknowledge their fault, apologies, amend their behaviour and evolve to be a better person. With inner stability, they are able to demonstrate these qualities.
They will not use an ideology, quotes from a religious scripture or powerful organisation and people as a smoke screen to attack us.
Some of us may have not developed these qualities. The least we can do is not harm them by way of action or speech to further add salt to their wound.
Knowingly or unknowingly, if we have made mistake, the best thing to do is to apologise. We can learn from our own mistake by analysing the cause, how we will approach it in another manner and share our thoughts with them.
We can also offer to help them by having a meaningful conversation where they can voice out their frustration, pain and sufferings.
However, if they continuously being demonic, then it is best to leave them be. You can maintain your distance. Because calling out their behaviour will only make them more aggressive. Only time and the results of their Karma will bring sense and maturity in them.
To quote Mike Tyson, “I fear others more than they fear me. And because of that, I am more aggressive”. This applies to all those who feel insecure, fearful and vulnerable; therefore, they see the need to protect themselves. The weak bullies and stab you from the back.
Decide if it is worth associating with them. Consequentially, we should set our boundaries and stay poised for our right to live a stress-free life. Be brave and be bold to walk on our path alone and not get sucked into their game plan.
At the end of the day, you are your only best friend with God as your ultimate beacon of light. ~ Gee
Gokila D. Santhanam is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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