As a child, the narrator grew up believing that the father was the villain of the family. According to #XUAN解忧树洞, he constantly accused the mother of having affairs with other men, even suspecting one of their relatives. The paternal grandfather frequently scolded the children and humiliated the mother with harsh words. The paternal grandmother had also taken advantage of her in the past. Yet despite everything, the mother still cared for her mother-in-law whenever she fell ill after returning home from work. The uncle's family, too, had always left a poor impression.
Everything reached a breaking point during the narrator's primary school years. One day, after the grandfather once again verbally humiliated the mother, the narrator finally argued back. Hearing the confrontation while preparing dinner, the mother grabbed her car keys and stormed out of the house. The children immediately followed. From that day onward, the family began living with the mother. Knowing how difficult it was for a single parent to raise four children, the siblings gradually became more obedient and mature.
Still, the mother often reminded them how hard it was to support the family financially. She would tell the children that money was always tight and that if they had not been so young, she would have divorced their father long ago. Today, although the parents remain legally married, they have lived separately for years. After leaving the family home, there was a period when the children had no contact with either their father or grandfather. Eventually, however, the mother encouraged them to rebuild the relationship.
"After all, he's still your grandfather. He's still your father."
Gradually, the children began spending weekends with their father before visiting their grandfather together. Yet every visit felt uncomfortable. Especially with the grandfather. Whenever they were about to leave, he would hold the narrator's hand, smell it, and repeatedly apologize. He treated the mother the same way. Although he was an elder, the behaviour felt deeply unsettling and instinctively uncomfortable. As the years passed, the mother's message also began to change. She started telling the children that their father actually loved them and cared deeply for them. Although she no longer loved him herself, she hoped they would continue maintaining a relationship with him.
But if he truly loved his children… Why had he used the savings they had accumulated since childhood after his business failed? Why had he cancelled their insurance policies, leaving them without protection? Why, during one violent argument in which the mother chased him with a kitchen knife, did he pull the children in front of him as human shields? There were countless other incidents. Far too many to recount. Many people might wonder why the children chose to leave with their mother, despite witnessing her chasing their father with a knife. The answer was surprisingly simple. Compared to the father's side of the family, the mother appeared to be the more stable and reasonable parent.
So the children followed her. But adulthood brought a different perspective. The parent who had once seemed unquestionably deserving of sympathy no longer appeared entirely blameless. Looking back, chasing someone with a knife in front of young children was undeniably dangerous, regardless of the circumstances. Then there was the question of infidelity. Even today, the truth remains uncertain. The mother had indeed been very close to a younger colleague. They spent a great deal of time talking together. The man often took the children out for meals and even wanted to bring them to an amusement park.
At the time, however, the narrator strongly disliked him and never welcomed his presence. Now, with the benefit of adulthood, those memories raise uncomfortable questions. Questions that still have no clear answers. Another source of confusion came later, when the mother repeatedly insisted that the father was actually a good man. She even attempted to invite him to the narrator's birthday celebration without first asking whether it was wanted. That moment revealed something unexpected. Throughout childhood, every decision had been shaped by the conflict between two parents.
As children, they stood beside their mother. As adults, they were expected to understand their father. Yet at no point had anyone stopped to ask how the children themselves truly felt. Over time, the narrator found it increasingly difficult to accept everything the mother said. Perhaps it wasn't rebellion. Perhaps it was simply maturity. Growing older revealed that the father was never as evil as childhood memories had painted him. But neither was he as loving as later narratives suggested. And the mother… She wasn't as innocent as she had once seemed. Some stories aren't made up of heroes and villains. Sometimes, they're simply made up of deeply flawed people.
Growing up isn't just about understanding parents. Sometimes, it's about realizing that the version of the story believed for years was never the whole truth—and finally learning to see the world through one's own eyes instead of someone else's narrative.
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