Some people fear heights.
Some fear snakes.
Some fear public speaking.
I fear public speaking in front of people.
That’s what we had to face on our recent Sandakan trip.
For those unfamiliar with Malay culture, an engagement inquiry and proposal ceremony is not just a casual visit. Families meet, expectations are discussed, traditions are observed, and everybody tries their best to make a good impression.
No pressure, right?
The inquiry and proposal delegation was very small, just my family members.
And I had to be the spokesperson……
That scared me a lot, I was anticipating peeing in my pants.
I am not joking.
People often assume that because I write almost every day on LinkedIn, Substack, and now Newswav, I must be comfortable speaking.
That’s not true.
Writing and speaking are two very different animals.
Give me a keyboard and I can talk endlessly.
Put me in front of people and suddenly my brain starts looking for the nearest emergency exit.
Before the trip, I did some preparation.
I did some research on their local customs, and….Ya Allah, they’re probably gonna throw some pantun (a unique Malay poetic form).
Now, for many Malaysians, exchanging pantun is not that uncommon.
For me, it felt like preparing for an oral examination that I never signed up for.
As an introverted person who can’t talk (just write), I thought I gonna need to do some training.
Even more so since I also need to make a speech.
I imagined all sorts of scenarios.
What if I forgot my words?
What if I misunderstood something?
What if I accidentally offended someone?
What if my mind suddenly went blank?
It often creates problems that don’t actually exist.
The closer the date came, the bigger those imaginary problems became.
But, heck no….I thought I’d just go in there and act normal, just don’t worry about it.
Sometimes we spend so much time preparing for disasters that never happen.
Sometimes the best preparation is simply showing up as yourself.
And it went well ✅
The conversation flowed naturally with smiles and light jokes.
Everyone was respectful.
There were moments of nervousness, of course.
But life has taught me something over the years.
Most people are hoping things go well too.
There were some disagreements but we managed to brush the differences aside and proceed with the engagement ceremony.
That was probably the most important lesson from the trip.
Not every discussion needs complete agreement.
Not every difference needs to become a battle.
Maturity means focusing on what truly matters and moving forward together.
A man’s gotta do what he gotta do❕✅😎
Feeling scared, imagining the worst, wanting to run away, and still showing up anyway - that’s real courage.
Many of the things that changed my life happened after I did something that made me scared.
Applying for a job.
Starting to write publicly.
Finish writing my book.
And now, standing up to speak on behalf of my family.
The fear was real.
The sweaty palms were real.
The overthinking was definitely real.
But the disaster never arrived.
A reminder for all of us.
The next thing you’re afraid of doing may not be as terrifying as your mind is making it out to be.
You just have to show up, do your best, and trust that things will work out.
P/S - Yeah, they did throw some pantun, and I had my phone in front of me, as you could see in the photo (with ChatGPT ready on the screen🤓)
The Poolside Writer (afendiothman9@gmail.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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