Have you ever been in a relationship that felt right from the very beginning, like everything just flowed naturally, like you didn't have to try too hard to be understood? The kind where ever silence felt comfortable, and being around them just made your day a little lighter. And yet… somehow, it still ended.
Not with a huge fight, not because someone cheated or did something unforgivable, but quietly. Gently. Bittersweetly. It's the kind of ending that leaves you confused because how can something that felt so right no longer work?
At the beginning, everything felt easy. I admired you for who you were. Your habits, your personality, even your flaws, they all felt acceptable, even lovable. I didn't feel the need to change anything about you. I just felt lucky to have you. And I think you felt the same about me.
We were patient, we were understanding, we were willing to compromise. Back then, love felt like choosing each other without hesitation, but as time passed, something changed. Not suddenly but gradually.
We became more comfortable and revealed more of ourselves. The effort softened, and in that comfort, I started noticing things I used to overlook. Small habits. Differences in thinking. The way you handled certain situations. Things that didn't bother me became things I wished were different. At first, I didn't say anything. I thought maybe it was just a phase. Maybe I was overthinking. Maybe love meant learning to accept, not question, but the thought didn't go away. Instead, they grew, and without realizing it, I started to change…not into a better partner but into someone who quietly expected you to be different.
I didn't sit down and talk to you honestly. I didn't ask how you felt or share what was going on in my mind. Instead, I stayed silent and hoped you would “just get it of what I expected.” I hoped you would change on your own, without me having to say it out loud. Looking back, that was when we started to lose each other because love cannot grow in silence filled with expectations, and the truth I didn't want to face was this: I wasn't accepting you anymore, I was slowly trying to reshape you into someone I thought I needed. Even if I never said it directly, you could probably feel it. That quiet pressure, that unspoken dissatisfaction. That sense that who you were… was no longer enough, and that's unfair because no one deserves to feel like they have to become someone else just to be loved.
The more I held onto those expectations, the more distance grew between us. Conversations felt lighter but less meaningful. We avoided the deeper topics. We stopped understanding each other the way we used to. And eventually, we reached a point where we both knew, something wasn't right anymore, not because we didn't care but because we were no longer meeting each other where we truly were.
The hardest part? There was no one to blame. You didn’t do anything wrong by being yourself. And I didn’t realize that in trying to “fix” what I thought was missing, I was slowly breaking what we already had. Sometimes, love doesn’t end because of hate. Sometimes, it ends because of misunderstanding and unspoken expectations.
If I could go back, I wouldn’t try to change you. I would talk to you. I would ask questions rather than make assumptions. I would understand instead of expecting. I would accept you fully, or be honest with myself if I couldn’t.
Because love is not about molding someone into your ideal version of them.
It’s about choosing them as they are and growing together from there. And if growth doesn’t happen in the same direction, then maybe the most loving thing you can do… is to let go. Don’t stay silent. Don’t let expectations replace communication.
Felicia Yoan (feliciayoan11@gmail.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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