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After nearly nine years in radio, Ili Ruzanna is entering a new chapter, one in which she no longer has to be the voice keeping others company but can turn the microphone towards herself.
The singer-songwriter, who stepped away from radio earlier this year to explore other creative pursuits, has returned to music with With Love, Ili, a four-track EP that explores love, personal growth, grief and healing. Released on Oct 16, the project reflects a side of Ili that has always existed beneath her work as a broadcaster and content creator, but one she now has more room to explore.
“I’ve always been involved in music, even before I started working in radio. The challenge was never a lack of interest but finding enough time to give both creative pursuits the attention they deserved. Now feels like the right time to bring music back to the centre of my life,” she told theSun.
Music has remained a constant throughout her career, with Ili releasing original material since 2019 and collaborating with Malaysian independent musicians including MFMF., Afaro, Airliftz and Asyrfnsir. Her track Pixels has surpassed 747,000 Spotify streams, while I Don’t Mind and Shady have each accumulated more than 200,000 streams.
With Love, Ili, however, represents a different milestone because it is the first body of work she has developed entirely on her own creative terms – from songwriting to production.
“Having that creative freedom has been amazing. I get to choose who I want to work with and I was fortunate that the people I collaborated with are also my friends. Being your own boss is an indescribable feeling because you can explore your ideas and really allow yourself to grow creatively,” she said.
Although the independence was initially daunting, the support surrounding her made the process easier to navigate. It also allowed her to work without the same pressure of meeting a label’s release schedule.
Two of the EP’s songs had been written and kept aside for years, waiting for the right moment to be released. Ili decided to revisit them because she still connected with the person she was when she wrote them, while the other two songs came together in just two writing sessions.
“Altogether, the process took about six months but a lot of the material was already there. When we finally sat down to complete the EP, everything flowed quite naturally,” she said.
Four songs, four sides of love
Rather than following a deliberately constructed narrative, the EP emerged as a collection of different emotional experiences. Its four tracks explore the excitement of meeting someone new, the ache of unrequited feelings, the certainty of lasting love and the difficulty of accepting that some people are not meant to stay.
For Ili, the songs are ultimately less about telling someone else’s story than understanding her own.
“Each song feels like a letter to myself. When you write about life, there will inevitably be other people involved, but ultimately, this EP is mostly for me. It is a way of expressing things I have experienced and giving those feelings somewhere to go,” she said.
The opening track, I Didn’t Know, explores the awkward frustration of having a friend develop feelings for a you only to realise that the opportunity has passed. Meanwhile, I Love You To Death offers a more idealistic vision of romance, celebrating the kind of love that remains unwavering until the end.
Ili admits that the latter is her favourite, describing it as her “delulu” song, a playful reference to its unapologetically romantic outlook.
“I Love You To Death represents a love that is so strong that the only thing that could separate the two people is death. It is about choosing each other through love and marriage and staying together until the very end,” she said.
At the other end of the emotional spectrum is Whatchu Wanna Do Tonight, the EP’s lead single, released on Sept 25. With its pop sound influenced by the 2000s, the track captures the excitement of meeting someone new and feeling that familiar spark of possibility.
And Why? completes the collection by confronting the reality that not every relationship is meant to last. Together, the songs move between hope, longing, devotion and acceptance, reflecting the different ways people experience and make sense of love.
Musically, the EP also allows Ili to explore different styles rather than committing to a single sound.
When songwriting becomes therapy
For someone who has spent years sharing stories and observations with an audience, putting personal experiences into music presents a different kind of vulnerability.
Ili is no stranger to emotional storytelling. Her 30 Hari Rindu Rasa Ibu series, which saw her visit mothers across the country to cook and share meals in memory of her late mother, reached more than 13 million views. The project also prompted more than 800 people to reach out, demonstrating how an experience rooted in personal grief could resonate with others going through similar losses.
With her new EP, that instinct to find common ground through personal experiences continues, although the process of writing about her own emotions has not always been comfortable.
“Writing these songs felt like therapy. Being able to get things off my chest has been one of the greatest privileges of making music. At the same time, because the project is so personal, there are moments when I feel quite exposed. I am sharing parts of myself that people might not otherwise see,” she said.
That vulnerability is also what she hopes will allow listeners to connect with the songs. Rather than expecting people to interpret every lyric in the same way, Ili wants them to find their own experiences reflected in the music.
For her, the measure of success will not simply be the number of people listening but whether the songs make someone feel understood.
Raw, new chapter
Ili will perform the four songs live for the first time at her With Love, Ili showcase this Saturday, which coincides with her birthday. All ticket proceeds from the showcase will go to the National Cancer Society Malaysia.
While she hopes the event will receive strong support, her expectations extend beyond the stage and the release itself.
“Of course, I hope people come and support me but more than anything, I hope they can relate to what I have been through. I want them to listen to the songs and feel that they are not alone in whatever they might be experiencing,” she said.
Asked to describe this next phase of her life in one word, Ili simply chose “raw”, explaining it represents being genuinely authentic to oneself.
It is an apt description for an artiste who has spent years making space for other people’s stories and is now learning to make that same space for her own.
Sometimes, the most honest thing a songwriter can offer is a feeling that someone else recognises as their own.
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