During the recent Islamic solemnization ceremony and wedding reception of my youngest cousin, Aizat Nizar bin Nawawi to Rabiatul Adawiyah binti Ab Hamid, at Dewan Perdana Felda, and whilst welcoming the arrival of President, Old Edwardians Association Kuala Lumpur (OEAKL), Lt. General Dato' Wira Haji Masood bin Haji Zainal Abidin (Retired) & Datin Wira Hajah Junaidah, they enquired my connection with the host, Dato' Nawawi Mat Desa.
I then briefed them that “My uncle, Dato' Nawawi is the youngest brother of my late mother, Allahyahamah Hajah Aminah and as such the groom, Aizat is my first cousin. We share the same grandparents. Even though, the is age differences between us but as first cousins, we're from the same generation. We're both generations from the late grandparents that we share. When Aizat be blessed with offspring, our children are second cousins to each other."
From my own life-long experience, cousins are often viewed more like siblings than distant relatives, serving as the primary social circle and a safeguard for lineage. The significance of cousins like a Malay family is defined by several cultural pillars: tracing linage and identity, social hierarchy and respect. My cousins are required to address each other using titles based on our parents' birth order. I am being fondly addressed as ‘Yong’ for being the eldest cousin.
In my Taiping hometown, up north the Peninsula, cousins often form the core of kampung (village) unit. Many residents of our village are related through lineage, with cousins serving as “partners-in-crime” & lifelong companions during major family events like wedding, religious festivals like Hari Raya. We offer unique support, sharing understanding of family dysfunction, providing help in tough situations, offering comfort during losses, creating safety net.
In a nutshell, strong cousin bonds contribute significantly to the larger Malay community's solidarity, reinforcing the importance of family cohesiveness.
Zulkifly Baharom (hajizul50@gmail.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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