I was having dinner at a restaurant recently when I overheard two young men talking about their mothers. One of them shared his dreams of one day providing his mom with the best: taking her on luxurious vacations, staying in high-end hotels, treating her to fine dining, and giving her the life he felt she deserved. But, despite all of this, he found that his mother was happiest simply when he was home, spending time with her. She didn’t care for the luxury or the grand gestures as much as she cared for his presence.
Listening to them, I couldn’t help but think about my own experiences with my mother. I, too, once thought that giving her the best — treating her to beautiful hotels, planning ideal vacations, arranging fancy meals — would make her happy. But over time, I started to realize that what she really wanted was something simpler, yet more precious: time together. Taking her to the supermarket to pick up fresh fruit seemed to light up her face more than any fancy itinerary. Sometimes, just sitting and talking at home brought her more joy than any trip abroad.
Realizing What Matters Most to Our Parents
For some parents, travel and adventure are thrilling, but others find joy in the familiarity of routine and the warmth of company. I began to understand that my mother felt happiest not when I was showing her the world, but when I simply asked for a dish she made, a taste of home I knew she’d cook with love. She loves being needed, knowing she can still take care of me in her own way, even if it’s something as simple as making my favorite meal.
In the past, whenever I had to leave to work, I’d tell her not to worry about driving me to the airport, reasoning that it was a long, unnecessary trip. But now, I see things differently. For her, that time together — even just sitting in traffic — wasn’t wasted. It was a chance to feel connected, to share a moment that meant as much to her as any grand gesture could mean to me. I’ve come to see that our parents don’t see us as a burden or an inconvenience; they see us as the reason to keep going, to stay involved, to feel that they are needed.
Learning to “Depend” as Adults
Growing up, we’re taught the value of independence, of being able to take care of ourselves and move through life confidently. But there’s also something to be said about relearning the art of dependence, especially with our parents. It doesn’t make us any less capable or self-sufficient. Instead, it deepens our relationships and reminds us that allowing others to care for us can bring them joy and purpose.
It’s humbling to admit that we’ve spent so much time focused on “becoming successful” or “being independent,” when sometimes all our parents want is to feel that they’re still an essential part of our lives. By allowing them to care for us, in whatever small ways they can, we give them the reassurance that they’re needed and cherished.
If You’re Reading This and Thinking of Your Parents…
Reach out to them. Go have a conversation, spend a few extra moments chatting, or ask them to cook you a meal they enjoy making. Let them know that they’re still a central part of your world. As our parents grow older, many feel less useful or struggle to find purpose, but we can change that by simply showing them that they’re still important to us. Just as we spend our lives trying to prove our worth and make a mark, they want to feel valued and irreplaceable, even in the smallest ways.
In the end, the real gift is mutual: our time, our presence, and our love. These are the things that make us feel whole, valued, and connected. It’s easy to forget, but sometimes, the best gift we can give our parents is letting them know they’re still needed.
Felicia Yoan is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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