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A WOMAN in her 30s, who asked to be known as Siti, says she was left in limbo for three years after her former husband walked out of their marriage without divorcing her, following the exposure of his secret relationships.
“I was left hanging without a rope after my ex-husband was caught having two secret lovers at the same time,” Harian Metro quoted her saying.
Siti said she discovered her husband’s infidelity after reading intimate messages on his mobile phone. Matters escalated when she revealed the illicit relationship to the father of one of the women involved.
“It was shocking to find out that my former husband’s girlfriend was actually someone else’s wife,” she said.
She said her husband’s anger peaked after the affair was exposed.
“After everything came to light, my ex-husband left the house and left me hanging without divorce for three years before we eventually separated,” she said.
According to Siti, her former husband later married the woman overseas after she completed her iddah period.
“Throughout the period when I was left hanging, he only returned home for one or two hours just to visit our child.
“I was treated as if I no longer existed. He completely neglected both my financial and marital rights,” she said.
Siti said she was eventually divorced last year after filing a claim in court for child maintenance.
“At the moment, my child and I are still living in a house paid for by my ex-husband through salary deductions.
“This is because the maintenance claim includes the provision of accommodation for the child,” she said.
She described life after divorce as emotionally challenging, particularly as a single mother.
“I have to take care of my young child on my own, and it becomes even more difficult when they fall ill,” she said.
To make ends meet, Siti said she takes on side jobs to supplement her income.
“My advice to women is to have a career so you can be independent if a marriage does not last.
“It is even better to have more than one source of income, because it helps you recover more quickly from disappointment,” she said.
Hanging a wife without divorce is haram (forbidden or prohibited) if harmful.
Meanwhile, Dean of the Faculty of Islamic Studies at Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia, Prof Datuk Dr Mohd Izhar Ariff, said leaving a wife hanging without divorce is haram if it causes physical or psychological harm.
He said Prophet Muhammad SAW forbade Muslims from inflicting harm upon themselves or others.
“A wife must be cared for properly, just as her parents once cared for her with love and compassion,” he said.
“When a wife is left hanging without divorce and deprived of financial and marital rights, it clearly opens the door to oppression and moral harm against her.
“Islam is firm when it comes to the rights and responsibilities of husband and wife, because these behaviours will be observed and learned by children who are growing up,” he said.
He added that moral education begins at home through the conduct of parents.
“If a husband leaves his wife hanging, he is indirectly teaching his child to oppress a wife in the future,” he said.
Dr Mohd Izhar stressed that marital problems must be resolved wisely.
“Problems should not be allowed to drag on until a wife is left hanging without divorce. A wife has rights, and those rights must be fulfilled.
“The excuse that a husband leaves his wife hanging because he loves her cannot be used to justify oppression,” he said.
“If he truly loved his wife, her rights would not be neglected. It becomes even worse when her physical and mental wellbeing are harmed.
“Love cannot be used as an argument to legitimise injustice by suspending a wife’s rights without resolution,” he said.
He urged wives who are being oppressed to take immediate legal action.
“We have religious departments and Syariah courts. Seek advice promptly from family law experts so that your future and your time are not wasted,” he said. - January 25, 2026
