I WRITE not in anger, but in deep hurt and in hope that we will be heard.Recent responses to a non-citizen spouse’s plea about being unable to access petrol subsidies have revealed something far more painful than policy gaps. They have revealed how misunderstood and how unseen non-citizen spouses in Malaysian families truly are.
Single non-citizen parents raising Malaysian children are among the hardest hit. While the global fuel crisis affects all, in Malaysia these women-led households face disproportionate and unaffordable fuel costs due to their non-citizen status.
For many, this is not an abstract economic pressure – it is a daily struggle: how to send a child to school, access healthcare or sustain basic household needs.
A significant number of these families fall within the B40 income group, compounding their vulnerability. Yet these are not “foreign” families – they are raising Malaysian children and are integral to the fabric of Malaysian society.
There is also a persistent misconception that non-citizen spouses do not contribute. This is simply untrue. Those of us who are permitted to work do pay taxes. We take loans to buy our homes and yet our names cannot be included in property ownership due to foreign investment restrictions.
What of spouses, particularly homemakers, who cannot even open bank accounts independently, leaving them deeply vulnerable.
Even where policies suggest that spouses may work, the reality is far more complicated. Visas often carry the words “prohibited from employment,” and employers are hesitant. Opportunities slip away, not for lack of ability, but because of administrative barriers.
Daily life reminds us, again and again, that we do not quite belong. We pay foreign rates at tourist sites, additional charges in hotels and higher fees in places where we accompany our own Malaysian children.
Elderly spouses, or those caring for children while their Malaysian partners work or support extended family elsewhere, face the financial strain when they cannot obtain public transport concessions for senior citizens. And yet, we continue.
We raise our Malaysian children. We invest in their education, their wellbeing, their future. Many among us have contributed quietly but significantly to this country – as teachers, doctors, engineers and caregivers. We have taught your children, cared for your families, and helped build the spaces you live and move in.
So when we are told to “go home”, it cuts deeply. For many of us, Malaysia is home.
After decades here, 30, 35 years, there is nowhere else to return to. Are we to leave our children and be separated from our family in our elder years?
Often times, it’s the non-citizen spouse who is the sole income earner in the Malaysian family and our children like your children are Malaysians.
Families, roots and lives have been built here. This is why the words hurt. Not because we expect special treatment, but because we ask for understanding. For dignity. For kindness.
When the Foreign Spouses Support Group was first formed, it came from a place of fear, a mother unable to admit her own Malaysian child to hospital because of her foreign status. It was never about entitlement. It was about ensuring that no family would have to face such risks again.
We are not asking for sympathy. We are asking to be seen for who we are: partners, parents and contributors to this great nation and as part of our Malaysian family.
One day, your own children or loved ones may build lives in another country. When they do, it is our sincere hope they are treated with fairness and compassion. We ask for nothing more than that same humanity here.
Bina R
Elderly non-Malaysian spouse