By Sam Trailerman
So it's official. Starting 1 November, if you are a mat rempit, you can go to jail.
I read that on Harian Metro's Facebook page at 3:37 in the afternoon. The headline was clean, simple, no drama. "Pindaan Akta 333: Hukuman penjara menanti mat rempit mulai 1 November."
Then I made the biggest mistake of my life. I clicked on the comments. 1,400 comments. 6,500 likes. In Malaysia, that ratio means somebody is very, very angry, and somebody else is very, very happy. I live in a taman where at 11:47 PM, a boy with a Yamaha Y15 and an exhaust pipe the size of a ship's funnel decides to test whether my soul can leave my body through my ears. So when I read "penjara" I thought, finally. Good. Bagus. Setuju. Like that uncle David Ling said, “Sapu saja hantar semua masuk, bising saja. Nanti mampos mama dia cakap anak saya baik.” That one sentence is the entire sociology of Malaysia.
Because let's be honest, we all have that cousin. That nephew. 17 years old, SPM just finished, motor modified until the mother cannot recognize it. He disappears after Maghrib, comes back at 2 AM with his slippers melted and says he was just "lepak." Then his mother will defend him like he is a pilot for MAS. "Anak saya baik." Yes, aunty, he is so good he is practicing wheelie in front of 7-Eleven.
So when the government said, okay, we will amend Akta 333, jail for mat rempit, half of the comment section stood up and clapped. And the clapping was not polite. It was violent. One guy said, "Bagus tu... kalau boleh, motor tu bakar sekali. Yang ekzos serombong kapal tu kalau boleh letak bom." You can feel the years of trauma in that sentence. That is not a comment. That is a man who has been woken up at 1 AM for seven years straight.
Another one was more administrative. "Cadang jee sita motor lepas itu bagii tempoh dalam dua mggu x tuntut..lucut jee hak motor lepas tu lelong jee motor itu." This is my favorite type of Malaysian. He doesn't want blood. He just wants proper SOP. Confiscate, two weeks, forfeit, auction. He probably works in JPJ. And then there were the poets. "Sekurang kurang 15 tahun jail baru betul... mereka ni dah hancur imej negara... memalukan bangsa." 15 years. Straight. No discount. For making brap brap noise at the highway. You can tell he is tired.
The other group that supported the law but wanted upgrades. "Bukan saja hukuman penjara, tambahkan lagi hukuman rotan 10 sebatan baru boleh ingatkan mat rempit." "Sebat sekali." "Sekali sebatan la baru ada akal." In Malaysia, whenever we have a social problem, our national solution is always rotan. Mat rempit? Rotan. Corruption? Rotan. Husband forgot to buy bawang? Rotan. It is our universal charger.
"Harap minimum 10 tahun penjara... MENYEMAK jerr mat rempit ni... malam2 memekak dengan ekzos bising dia tu..." Yes brother. MENYEMAK. That one word is more accurate than any act of parliament. They are just... menyemak. They exist to make a quiet night, not quiet. And then there was the wise one: "Semoga langkah ini mampu mengurangkan kadar kematian melibatkan mat rempit." That one is the pakcik who actually thinks. He doesn't want revenge. He just doesn't want to see another kid die because he tried to become Superman on a motorcycle that costs RM6,000.
But here is where the comment section becomes a beautiful, chaotic Malaysian parliament.
Because for every one person who said "Setuju," there were three people who said, “Okay, good, but what about the drunk driver?” Wah, you should have seen it. It was like a flood. "Yang mabuk langgar orang mati xbuat akta? “Mabuk? Rohingya bawa kenderaan?” In five minutes, the comment section turned from anti-rempit to a full inquiry commission. It was no longer about Akta 333. It was about Akta Everything. And I get them. I really do. I fear two things equally. One is a 16-year-old doing a wheelie without a helmet. The other is a drunk driver at 2 AM coming from the wrong side. Both can kill me. But only one gets a new law with a poster.
One comment summarized it perfectly: “Mat rempit Ka, Memandu mabuk Ka,, dua2 Salah.. Tak perlu nak bekap mana2.. patut Sokong..” Yes. Both wrong. No need to pick your favorite criminal.
But the satire here is beautiful. When it comes to mat rempit, the law is lightning fast. Pindaan, gazette, penjara, November 1, done. When it comes to the drunk driver, the comment section says the law already exists, Seksyen 44, 10-15 years if you kill someone, but the enforcement... well, you know lah. One uncle even pasted the whole legal text in the comment. Section 45A, RM10,000 to RM30,000, jail up to 2 years. He did the work that the ministry should do.
That's the Malaysian way. The rakyat become the lawyers.
And then the third group came. The "what about foreigners without license" group. "Rohingya bawa motor takde lesen macam mana pulak? tak penjara sekali ke?" "Warga asing yang memandu tanpa lesen MCM mana tuan." Suddenly, Akta 333 became immigration policy, trade policy, housing policy. We are like that. You give us one law about noisy motorbikes, we will give you a list of 15 other laws we want by tonight.
The best comment for me was from a guy named Chong Asia. He wrote in Kelantanese: "Habis pakat ado rekod budok2, bringat laaa budok wehhh, rekod menyusohkan hidup sapa ke tuo..." It's funny, but it's true. Once you have a criminal record at 19, you carry it until you are 60. You want to apply for a job; you want to go to Singapore that record follows you like that loud exhaust.
So is jail the right answer? I don't know. I am not a YB. I am just a man who wants to sleep without hearing "PRAP PRAP PRAP" at midnight.
But looking at the comments, I think what people actually want is fairness. They say, "Bagus saya sokong, Tapi macam ada tertinggal 1 (Mabuk)?" Translation: Good, I support, but you forgot one, right? They don't hate the law. They actually love it. They just want the same energy for everything else. If you can jail the rempit kid for being a nuisance, you can jail the drunken for being a killer. If you can confiscate the rempit's motor, you can confiscate the lorry that is overloaded and kills a family.
One old uncle wrote, "Kasi masuk penjara dan rotan." Short. No comma. No mercy. Another one wrote, "Semua rakyat akhirnya menerima berita gembira...." All citizens finally receive happy news. Is it really happy news? Yes, if you live near the highway.
So come November 1, what will happen? The mat rempit will either disappear, or they will do what the comment section joked: "Pasni sebelum rempit mabuk dulu, kaliamak punya undang2." Drink first, then rempit, so you get charged under the lighter law. That is satire that writes itself.
Me? I will support Akta 333. Not because I hate kids on motorcycles. I was once a kid on a motorcycle. But because for once, the law is trying to say, your freedom to make noise stops where my eardrum starts. And if we can do that for mat rempit, maybe next time we can do it for everything else too. One by one.
Until then, I will keep my earplugs next to my bed.
Nganasegaran (tapessam@gmail.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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