OPINION | Columnist Corner: Why Being a YB is the Only Job Where Getting Slandered is a Retirement Plan

Let’s be honest. Being a Member of Parliament (MP) or a State Assemblyman (ADUN) in Malaysia is not for the faint-hearted. You need the stamina of an Olympic marathon runner, the stomach to digest four teh tarik a night during walkabouts, and a thick enough skin to survive a barrage of Facebook comments that would make a seasoned sailor blush.

And if you happen to be a non-Malay YB? Wah, bonus stage unlocked!

The moment you step into the political arena, you don't just get scrutinized on your policy papers or your drainage cleaning service. No, you instantly unlock a lifetime achievement award of being called every variation of “pendatang”, “chauvinist”, or accused of secretly plotting to turn Malaysia into a multi-story parking lot overnight.

Every single time some political youth chief or keyboard warrior needs to boost their engagement rates, what’s the easiest cheat code? Throw a bit of racial spice, mix in some baseless accusations, and press Post. Instant viral hits!

For the longest time, people used to say, "Aiya, just ignore them, politicians got thick skin one." But lately, Malaysian politicians have discovered an even better national pastime: The Counter-Sue Economy.

As our friendly neighborhood economic analyst Rafizi famously pointed out, corruption is supposedly the most profitable business in Malaysia where high-profile figures can pocket tens of millions, pay back a tiny fraction as a compound fine, and walk away free. But let’s look at the alternative market data: counter-suing is turning out to be the ultimate high-yield blue-chip investment in Bolehland.

Just look at the stellar corporate track record of our local politicians:

• The Pioneer Portfolio: Seputeh MP Teresa Kok gave us a masterclass in litigation economics during her epic showdown with Jamal Yunos over YAWAS funds (netting a cool RM300k), followed swiftly by her latest RM250,000 dividend payout from Dr Akmal’s halal logo remarks. First Jamal, now Akmal at this rate, her legal team’s billable hours are a better hedge against inflation than gold bars.
• The Genealogy Special: Then there was the unforgettable creative writing masterclass by PAS MP Siti Mastura, who tried to draw an imaginative family tree connecting half the DAP leadership to historical figures like Chin Peng. The courts swiftly flunked her history project, resulting in hefty defamation penalties that proved making up bloodlines on the ceramah stage is an expensive hobby.
• The Mega-Deal Appeals: Even veteran players like Lim Guan Eng have treated the courts like a high-stakes stock exchange, pulling multi-hundred-thousand-ringgit judgments after fighting off heavy-duty allegations. Even when appeals court judges "slash" the final payout price, it feels like a year-end warehouse clearance sale at the Palace of Justice!

Think about it. Where else can you get a guaranteed return on investment like this?

1. Step 1: Someone makes a viral video or press conference calling you an "old Nyonya", inventing a fictional family tree, or tossing wild allegations.
2. Step 2: You calmly sip your kopi O, call your lawyer, and file a defamation suit.
3. Step 3: You wait through a few rounds of court dates while your opponent slowly realizes that talk is cheap, but lawyers aren't.
4. Step 4: BAM! The judge rules in your favor, and you walk away with massive general and aggravated damages.

At this rate, being a YB isn’t just public service anymore; it’s a venture capital firm for litigation. Forget crypto, the stock market, or corporate compounds just invest in a thick skin and a fierce defamation lawyer.

So, to all the aspiring politicians out there looking at the next general election: Don't worry about whether you can fix the potholes or manage the macroeconomics. Just make sure your legal counsel is on speed dial. Because in Malaysia, if they throw words at you, you throw a writ of summons right back.

And honestly? That’s one kind of inflation we can actually get behind. Malaysia boleh!

“In Malaysia, politics is a game of words but if your mouth writes a check your defamation lawyer can't cash, your bank account is going to feel the rakyat's wrath.” - Annan Vaithegi

Annan Vaithegi (annanvaithegi@icloud.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!

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