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By Mihar Dias January 2026
There is an old joke often told in writing classes, usually to comfort students who fear the blank page more than final exams. The secret to a good story, the instructor says, is to include religion, royalty, romance and an element of surprise. Five minutes later Johan stands up and declares victory: “Oh my God, the princess is pregnant. I wonder who did it!”
All the elements are there. Religion. Royalty. Romance (implied). Surprise (undeniable). Is it a good story? Debatable. Is it a story at all? Also debatable. But Johan got laughs, and that, as any regular at a mamak over teh tarik and roti canai will tell you, already qualifies it as social commentary.
Which brings us to Selangor, where lately we have been treated to our own version of Johan’s masterpiece—except this time the romance is missing, Miss Piggy has wandered into the frame, and the surprise came not from the punchline but from the podium.
Religion and royalty were both present when the Ruler spoke, rather bluntly, about pig farms. The surprise? Not that pigs exist in Selangor (they always have), but that the issue was framed not as a theological crisis but as a sensory one. Smell. Noise. Daily reality. Acres of land. Assemblymen. Inhaling deeply. Perhaps even appreciating the uninterrupted soundtrack of squeals and the aromatic complexity that locals have endured for years.
This, in Malaysia, is already revolutionary.
For years, discussions about pig farms have followed a predictable script. On one side: religion, invoked loudly and selectively. On the other: livelihoods, waved quietly like a tired white flag. Somewhere in between: residents who cannot open their windows, dry their laundry, or pretend that “kampung charm” includes eau de pig slurry.
What startled many was not that Islam is uncomfortable with pigs—this is hardly breaking news—but that the Ruler appeared more uncomfortable with the politics surrounding them. https://www.thestar.com.my/news/nation/2026/01/10/selangor-sultan-expresses-deep-disappointment-over-large-scale-pig-farming-in-kuala-langat
The largest religion in the country, it was suggested, does not need to flex its dominance by demanding that pig farms be shoved around like chess pieces, especially when the consequences fall squarely on ordinary people who did not sign up to live inside a bio-experiment.
In one stroke, the debate was dragged out of WhatsApp groups and into the realm of lived experience. Smell, after all, is wonderfully democratic. It does not care about race, religion, or party affiliation. It enters your nostrils without asking how you voted.
And this is where the cynicism kicks in.
Because Selangor’s pig problem is not really about pigs. It is about governance. It is about how long we have been content to solve complex issues by relocating them—preferably closer to someone else. It is about approving housing developments near existing farms and then acting shocked when residents discover that pigs, inconveniently, behave like pigs. https://www.thestar.com.my/news/nation/2026/01/10/selangor-sultan-expresses-deep-disappointment-over-large-scale-pig-farming-in-kuala-langat
Developers build. Local councils approve. Voters cheer. Then comes the outrage: How could this have happened? As if the smell arrived on a tourist visa.
Enter the politicians, suddenly very concerned. Some demand farms be moved. Others demand compensation. A few demand silence. Almost none demand accountability for planning decisions made years earlier. And certainly not from themselves.
The Ruler’s intervention was unsettling precisely because it disrupted this comfortable hypocrisy. When royalty points out that perhaps lawmakers should spend some time living with the consequences of their policies—breathing the air, hearing the noise—it becomes harder to hide behind slogans. https://www.thestar.com.my/news/nation/2026/01/10/selangor-sultan-expresses-deep-disappointment-over-large-scale-pig-farming-in-kuala-langat
It suggests that governance is not an abstract exercise but a physical one. Policies smell. Decisions linger.
Religion, too, was inadvertently rescued from political overuse. Instead of being brandished like a blunt instrument, it was framed as something more restrained, more confident, less insecure. The implication was clear: a faith followed by millions does not need to assert itself by tormenting minorities or ignoring basic human dignity.
That, of course, made everyone uncomfortable.
Because discomfort is usually reserved for the rakyat, not for those with microphones. We are used to hearing sermons about tolerance while policies do the opposite. We are accustomed to leaders speaking loftily about harmony while leaving communities to fight over fences and farm boundaries.
Miss Piggy, in this whole affair, is less a villain than a mirror. She reflects our planning failures, our selective outrage, and our habit of confusing moral authority with administrative competence. Pigs did not suddenly become noisier. Noses did not suddenly become more sensitive. What changed was that someone important acknowledged the smell.
And like Johan’s joke, it made people laugh—nervously—because the truth was uncomfortably concise.
So is this a good story? Perhaps not in the literary sense. There is no romance, unless one counts Malaysia’s long-running love affair with denial. But it has religion, royalty, surprise, and yes, morality—served hot, like roti canai fresh off the griddle.
The question, as always, is what happens after the laughter dies down. Do we return to telling the same jokes at the mamak, or do we finally admit that some problems cannot be relocated, only responsibly managed?
Because unlike Johan’s princess, this pregnancy has been a long time coming. And everyone knows who did it.
Mihar Dias (mihardias@gmail.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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