The Striking Parallel Between Newlyweds and New Voters
In both love and politics, the most dangerous period is not the beginning, but the years that follow the honeymoon. Newlywed disillusionment typically strikes around the three‑year mark—exactly when many former PKR members now flocking to Bersama report feeling let down by their old party. The parallel is striking, and the underlying cause is the same: unmet expectations. But the real lesson lies not in the disappointment, but in how we choose to respond to it. Some voters cast spoilt votes or abstain from voting altogether—a reaction not unlike the spouse who withdraws sexual favours. Unable to accept that things have not gone our way, we seek to punish. But anger never solves problems; it aggravates the situation and leads to consequences that harm everyone involved.
When Fantasy Collides With Reality
When a couple marries, they carry an idealized image of each other. Two years later, reality intrudes. The partner who once seemed endlessly attentive now leaves smelly socks on the floor. She bears you a son when you dreamed of a daughter. The romance has given way to routine. Similarly, a voter who puts their trust in a political party does so with high hopes—of reform, of competence, of deliverance from the old order. When those hopes are not perfectly met within a few election cycles, disillusionment sets in. The party that once represented hope is now judged only by its missed deadlines and broken pledges.
It's Not Poor Performance — It's Unmet Expectations
But here is the critical insight: in both cases, the problem is rarely the absolute poor performance of the other party or partner. It is the relative gap between expectation and reality. And that gap can be closed in two ways: by the partner improving, or by us choosing to shift our focus from what is lacking to what is present.
The Tragedy of Leaving Without Ever Seeing What You Had
The tragedy of the three‑year itch is not that people leave. It is that they often leave without having truly seen what they had. In a marriage, a spouse may overlook the quiet loyalty, the daily acts of care, the shared history of surviving small storms—all because they are fixated on the one unmet need. In politics, a former PKR member may forget that their old party broke a decades‑long stranglehold of power, introduced landmark reforms under immense pressure, or gave a voice to the voiceless—all because they are angry about a delayed manifesto promise. The new party, Bersama or any other, initially seems flawless precisely because it has not yet been tested by the weight of expectation. Give it two to three years, and the same disillusionment will follow.
The Discipline of Appreciation Is the Only Antidote
What endures—in marriage and in political loyalty—is not the absence of disappointment. It is the discipline of appreciation. A wise spouse learns to say, “You are not perfect, but here is what you do well, and here is how you have made my life better.” A wise citizen learns to say, “This party has fallen short, but let me also remember the structural constraints it faced, the victories it delivered, and the direction it set.”
None So Blind As Those Who Will Not See
Without that discipline, the cycle never ends. The disillusioned spouse leaves one marriage only to find the same frustrations in the next. The disillusioned voter jumps from PKR to the next new party, forever chasing a political honeymoon that never lasts. The real failure is not the other's shortcomings. It is our own wilful blindness—the habit of magnifying every flaw while rendering every virtue invisible. We see what we want to see. And we refuse to see what we choose to forget.
Conclusion: The Grass Is Greener Where You Water It
So the next time you feel that three‑year itch, whether in love or in politics, pause. Ask yourself: Have I truly appreciated what this partner or this party has contributed? Or have I allowed unmet expectations to erase all gratitude? The answer may not save every marriage or every political allegiance. But it will save you from the delusion that the grass is greener on the other side. It isn't. It is greener where you water it.
Nathalie CHIA (nathalie.meiying@gmail.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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