Now recently, there was a small storm blew up between Religious Affairs Minister Na'im Mokhtar and the M-Pop group Dolla, about the revealing way the female members of Dolla dressed.
I even wrote about the subject previously, and took the side of Dolla, on account of the fact that I saw Dolla as a group that was aiming to win in the world, while I saw the religious minister as a person who doesn’t know what it takes to win in the world, and thus is putting arbitrary obstacles in the path of a group that is trying to win simply because he himself doesn’t know what it takes to win in this world.
But despite my criticism of the religious affairs minister, I actually understand where he is coming from in regards to Dolla’s dressing.
I understand where he is coming from because his point of view is basically a reflection of the conservative point of view, and I am actually quite familiar with the conservative point of view and I do appreciate its raison d’être.
You see, the way a female is dressed is heavily controlled in a conservative community, especially by the males, because of the way that the conservative structure their society.
In the conservative society, the individual is not the smallest unit of society – rather, it is the couple, composed of a male and a female through the union of marriage, that tends to be the smallest unit.
Often, a couple is expected to have children, and together with the children they will form a “family”, which can also be considered the smallest unit of a conservative society, but for the sake of this article, I am going to use the “couple” as the smallest unit of a conservative society.
In a conservative society, only two genders – male and female – which are necessary to form a couple, are recognized.
When children in a conservative society come of age, the two sexes are expected to get married and form a couple. The couple is then expected to perform different roles for the unit, according to their gender, and to the degree that the couple performs their expected roles well, the conservative community will acknowledge, validate and value the couple.
As a rule, in a conservative society, the male tends to be placed outdoors and is expected to deal with the external world, while the female tends to be placed indoors and is expected to deal with the internal household.
To form a unit, the male is expected to show that he is capable of putting himself through difficulty and danger, taking risks for the unit, and dealing with the external world effectively to provide for the unit. Meanwhile, the female is expected to show that she has the qualities to keep the unit together, as well as make it worthwhile for the male to believe that it is worth it for him to put himself through burdens, difficulties and dangers for the sake of the unit.
Now how is it that the female persuades the male to believe that it will be worthwhile for him to do all this?
Well, there are many dimensions to how she can achieve this in the conservative world – among them are practising feminine virtues, which include such things as chastity and posessing nurturing qualities – but she is also expected to nurture attractive qualities,or qualities that will make a male feel it is worthwhile to form a unit with her.
In other words, in the conservative world, a female is expected to cultivate attractive qualities – not only psychologically, but also physically – through her shape, posture, features, accessories and dress, in a manner that will make a male feel attracted to her.
What is it that a female is supposed to do to cultivate these attractive qualities?
Well, what is considered physically attractive in a female varies with time and is appreciated differently throughout the ages and in different parts of the world, but if there is one common thread about all of them, it is that a female’s attractiveness is measured according to her ability to attract males.
In the conservative world, males are expected to want what every other male wants.
Whether it is toys, jobs, careers, cars, houses or whatnot, a male in a conservative world is conditioned to want what every other male wants.
Following this logic, in a conservative world, a female will generally manipulate her looks and appearance in a way that will attract the attention and desire of the maximum number of males.
The more males that a female is able to attract, the greater her chances of securing a suitable male who can provide her with a well-provisioned household.
However, because a female in the conservative world is inclined to present herself as attractive to males, while a male is expected to compete with other males to get what every male wants, the inclination of female to make herself attractive to males has the potential of creating friction among the males in the community, especially if her physical attractiveness is so great that it arouses such a high degree of competitiveness that the males start to fight among themselves.
Because of that, in the conservative world, males – and even females - tend to exert a great deal of control over the female’s capacity to attract males through their physical attractiveness, less their attractiveness causes the males in the community to become so hyper-competitive or hyper-aggressive.
Now this entire logic is less applicable in the liberal world, because at its very core, the fundamental unit in a liberal society is the individual, not the couple.
In other words, in the liberal world, males and females are not expected to become a unit – or a couple – and they can very well remain single their entire lives.
Because they are not expected to become a couple, they are also not expected to perform gender-specific roles.
As a matter of fact, because the liberals are less inclined to have gender specific roles, they tend to have a more gender fluid viewpoint to, where instead of just having two genders - that of a male and female - they might recognize a multiplicity of gender, which can be self designated, according to individual preference.
When you are not expected to perform gender-specific roles, you are not expected to conform to gender-specific appearances either. So in a liberal society, you can pretty much dress as you wish, with no one, either male or female, exerting any control over how anyone – male or female – will dress.
After the Dolla vs Religious Affairs Minister dispute erupted, Latheefa Koya came out to frame the issue as a male’s inordinate interest in a female’s purity . But I think this viewpoint misses the forest for the trees.
I think the fact that the religious minister is male is merely incidental – even if we had a female religious minister, she too would probably have frowned on Dolla’s dressing, because the belief that a female’s freedom to dress should be controlled is not just the viewpoint of males in a conservative society – it is the viewpoint of everyone in a conservative society, be they male or female.
My issue with the conservative view of the religious minister is not that he, a male, wants to control the dressing of a female. My issue is that the way he is addressing the issue places unnecessary obstacles in the path of a person trying to be successful or happy in the world, without providing an alternative path for them to achieve success or happiness.
At the end of the day – whether as a couple or a family in the conservative arrangement, or individuals in the liberal arrangement – people are fundamentally dealing with the world in a way that will bring them success or happiness.
If you have a way where people can achieve success or happiness – and you are encouraging them to follow that path while discouraging them from following another path which you believe will only bring them defeat, poverty, shame, difficulties, failure, ruin, frustration, deprivation, misery and perdition – that is fine.
But if you don’t have a way for people to achieve success – or find wealth, pleasure, fame, authority, power, status or position – or a way for them to find happiness – or a way to peace with themselves and find meaning or purpose in the world – then the least you should do is not block anyone’s attempt to do so on their own.
My issue with the conservative view of how a woman should dress, in other words, is not so much about how long they think a skirt should be or how much of the arm or midriff should be shown, but about what sort of happiness or success conservatives can provide to someone who follows their worldview.
In other words, if Dolla were to follow Na'im’s guidelines on how to dress, will it improve their chances of being successful – of being famous, rich, popular, or becoming elite members of society – or will it bring them peace, purpose, happiness or meaning in life?
If not, why stand in their way?
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