I am sad to say that I increasingly find myself at odds with how some DAP leaders define and practise such virtues as sincerity.
Recently, when DAP secretary-general Anthony Loke said he would take "full responsibility" after DAP suffered devastating losses in the Sabah election and following the LRT derailment near the Chan Sow Lin station, I could not help but feel that what he described was not responsibility at all.
To me, taking full responsibility means owning a disaster that has already happened and imposing upon yourself a punishment greater than what is legally required because you failed to prevent it, although you had the responsibility and power to prevent it.
When a leader says he will take full responsibility, what I expect is resignation.
Anthony Loke, however, seems to understand the concept of taking full responsibility differently. In his conception, taking responsibility means identifying the people who failed to prevent a disaster, withdrawing trust from them, and personally ensuring that the problem does not happen again.
Although his understanding differs from mine, I can at least appreciate its logic. If responsibility means personally ensuring that mistakes are not repeated, then I suppose there is a case for remaining in office.
But if that is indeed his definition, then it follows that should there be another major LRT failure or should DAP suffer substantial defeats in the coming Johor and Negeri Sembilan elections, he ought to resign. Otherwise, what he calls responsibility would simply become empty words that carry no meaning.
Unfortunately, my misunderstanding with Anthony Loke is minor compared to my disagreement with DAP vice-chairman Teo Nie Ching on the meaning of sincerity.
My opposition with Teo Nie Ching's understanding of how sincerity should be practiced is so strong, that if Teo Nie Ching were to practice her version of sincerity with me, rather than generating trust, it will most certainly make me believe that she is two faced and generate a lot of doubt and suspicion in my heart.
You see, the purpose of sincerity is that it allows people to know you for who you truly are.
If you are sincere, even if you are foul-mouthed employee, your employer might still tolerate or accept you, because they will be able to see that your vulgar choice of language is not a sign of disrespect or ill intentions, even if they dislike it. They might instead just see it as an aspect of your character, and tolerate it, while focusing on your positive sides - like how you are obedient, timely and hardworking instead.
If, however, you secretly harbor ill will towards your employer while pretending to be loyal, then no amount of politeness, punctuality or displays of hard work will eliminate the doubt that surrounds you in their heart.
You may demonstrate honesty a hundred times and goodwill a thousand times. Yet the one moment where you slip and reveal a sign of ill will, likely will outweigh all your previous demonstrations of virtue, because it will confirm what the other party had feared all along.
That is why sincere people can often earn the respect of even their enemies, while two-faced people eventually lose the trust of even their own families.
A few nights ago, Teo Nie Ching recalled what she described as a "strange and weird" experience during the Mahkota by-election when she campaigned for Barisan Nasional.
According to Teo, when BN representatives asked her to sit on stage, she did so. When they handed her a dacing flag, she held it.
Why?
Because she wanted to demonstrate that DAP was a sincere partner.
Teo further argued that DAP campaigned vigorously for BN despite Pakatan Harapan not being represented in the Johor state government. According to her, the fact that DAP did not use its exclusion from the state administration as an excuse to boycott the by-election was proof of DAP's sincerity.
"We are not two-faced and we do not fake it," she reportedly said.
But I must say that it is precisely because DAP leaders like Teo Nie Ching behave in this manner that there is little trust in the relationship between PH and BN.
Despite what Teo believes, waving the dacing flag overnight or suddenly campaigning vigorously for BN in a by-election, despite DAP and BN being bitter rivals for decades, is not going to appear as sincerity or inspire trust in the relationship.
As a matter of fact, it is more likely to sow doubt by convincing BN that DAP is being two-faced in the relationship.
Furthermore, it may convince BN that DAP is being two-faced because it is hiding ill will towards BN, either to secure some benefit for itself or to cause harm to BN in the future.
That being the case, BN will almost certainly continue to test DAP's sincerity again and again. And if DAP falters even once, despite having passed the test a hundred times before, BN may become convinced that DAP was indeed being two-faced all along.
Why?
Because in the way Teo Nie Ching practises sincerity, you do not feel as though you know DAP.
Instead, you are overwhelmed by the suspicion that DAP is hiding its true self from you.
And because of the negative state of the relationship in the past, that suspicion will naturally create a sense of danger or alarm.
Listening to Teo Nie Ching define what sincerity is, and realising that her concept of sincerity is almost certainly being interpreted as two-facedness by many within BN, I can understand why the relationship between UMNO and DAP remains riddled with doubt and suspicion.
The relationship between UMNO and DAP is not easy to fix on account of the vast amount of negativity that has accumulated between them over the decades.
To repair that relationship, both DAP and UMNO will require principled and ethical leaders who not only know what virtues like sincerity means, but have a strong commitment to practise it, in order to create the conditions necessary for healing to occur.
And even then, it may take a very long time before their relationship heals.
With the sort of leaders they have today, however, and considering how they seem to expect their relationship to heal almost overnight despite confusing two-facedness with sincerity, I do not think the conditions necessary for genuine healing are anywhere close to being established.
As things stand, I predict that even if each side makes a hundred sacrifices or grants a thousand concessions to the other, they will continue testing each other relentlessly.
And if either side fails that test even once or twice, the relationship will find itself in danger.
TheRealNehruism (nehru.sathiamoorthy@gmail.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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