We raise our children in a loving environment so they know they are appreciated and loved equally.
PETALING JAYA: At the age of five, Muhammad Amir Akhbar Abdul Matin understands he is adopted but that awareness has never affected the love within his family.
“Alhamdulillah, their relationship is very good – like typical siblings, but with a very special bond,” said his mother Siti Shazwani Saadon.
She said Amir Akhbar has shown maturity beyond his years, especially towards his younger sister Aira Khadijah Mohd Khairul Izhwan, aged three. “He is very loving and protective of Aira Khadijah. He gives in a lot and gently guides her.
“Honestly, he is a very mature child, full of empathy. Sometimes, even we are surprised by how he understands the feelings of others,” she said. That emotional awareness extends to his relationship with his mother.
“He is also very affectionate towards me, very expressive in showing love, and that same warmth is what he gives to his sister.” From an early age, he has also taken on small responsibilities at home.
“In many situations, he is not just a brother, but like a little guide in our family.” Siti Shazwani said there is no distinction in how she loves her children.
“There is no difference. One I carried in my womb while the other I carried in my heart, whom I nursed myself.” She described both paths to motherhood as equally demanding.
“Both required sacrifice and both are deeply meaningful to me. Love is not dependent on blood, but on the trust that Allah has given to us.” While largely supported, she acknowledged that misconceptions still exist.
“Sometimes, there are certain assumptions in society, even if unintentional. But it is up to us to educate them. Because in situations like this, a person’s dignity is at stake.” They ensure both children grow up equally valued.
“We raise our children in a loving environment so they know they are appreciated and loved equally.” She said openness is key to changing misconceptions.
“We believe that openness and how we educate society are very important in changing misconceptions about adoption.
“I have never felt affected by how people perceive this, because I see it as my responsibility to convey what is right.
“Allah does not judge our beginnings, but our endings. “Our duty is simply to fulfil the trust entrusted to us as best as we can.”
On their son’s upbringing, she said honesty is handled carefully.
“We believe in honesty that is appropriate to his age. Amir Akhbar knows that he came into our lives in a very special way and that he is deeply loved.
“When the time comes, we will continue to share his story so that he grows up feeling confident and valued.”
Despite knowing his background, she said he has never felt anything lacking. Siti Shazwani said the hardest part of adoption is not raising a child, but what comes before.
“The preparation, emotionally and physically, including the effort to produce breast milk requires sacrifice, persistence and strength.”
But she said these struggles shaped them as parents. “We become more patient, more understanding and more appreciative of every trust that has been given to us.”
She stressed the importance of understanding the emotional needs of adopted children.
“We also need to understand the trauma that the children might have experienced and continuously help them gradually overcome it.”
She added that patience and knowledge are essential. She also highlighted legal responsibilities.
“In terms of documentation, everything must follow the proper channels. OrphanCare assists with the initial stage, but the responsibility after that lies fully with the adoptive parents.”
She urged couples not to fear adoption. “If your heart is truly ready, it can become a very beautiful journey.”
