BYLINE: QADEEM ZIEMAN
I recently walked out of a restaurant because of its sloppy AI-generated menu: uneven fonts, faint colours against a pitch-black background, and an overall appearance that looked as though nobody had bothered to check the final result.
Why? Because despite its attractive offers and membership deals, I found it unacceptable.
Not because of what it could potentially do to our economy or environment, but because of what it represented to me: carelessness.
My friends think I think too deeply. They say I am too serious. Perhaps certain psychological theories could explain how being named after an Iraqi ghazal singer by a controversial journalist might have contributed to the way I am.
Regardless, as long as I am living this life, I believe it is my responsibility to think for myself — even if some people think I think too much.
My philosophy of attraction is somewhat more complicated than the conventional idea of simply “falling in love.”
For me, attraction revolves around first impressions, but not merely in the literal sense of seeing someone for the first time.
I believe that building a relationship, much like the R.A.C.E. model used in digital marketing, happens in stages.
Attraction is the beginning of connection. It is the stage where attention is captured before a relationship can even begin, and that is precisely why first impressions matter to me.
If a restaurant owner can disregard something as basic as presentation, I naturally begin to wonder what else might be disregarded behind the scenes — including the quality of the food I am about to be served.
The same principle can be applied to people.
THERE'S A REASON BEHIND DIVORCES AND FALLOUTS.
Consider the sentiments expressed in songs such as Shima and Siti Nurhaliza's Setelah Aku Kau Miliki, or Bicara Manis Menghiris Kalbu.
The stories they tell are familiar: promises made during courtship, affection that appears genuine, and then — somewhere along the way — a person begins to change.
Because the person you meet before marriage may not necessarily be the person you live with afterwards.
People often behave differently when they are trying to win someone.
They present themselves carefully. They pursue. They persuade. They demonstrate affection. They make promises.
And once the mission is complete, to them, the war is over, as there is nothing left to prove, and nothing left to chase. That is where the real person may finally emerge.
People lie about their age on dating applications all the time — sometimes to appear younger, sometimes to appear older, and sometimes because they believe a particular age will give them an advantage.
I have even known a formerly married couple in which both parties misrepresented themselves, not merely during courtship, but throughout a five-year marriage.
The husband claimed to be in his twenties when he was actually approaching forty. The wife fabricated significant parts of her personal history.
The man's family reportedly participated in maintaining the deception, claiming that because they came from Yemen, birth certificates had been lost during the wars.
Meanwhile, the wife claimed that she had been abused by her family.
When the truth was eventually questioned, one lie required another lie, and that second lie required another.
It became an elaborate structure built upon something that was never solid to begin with.
It was like building a sandcastle, except in their case, they were building a sandcastle underwater.
One wanted a visa and a name that could be used to establish numerous companies.
The other wanted what she called “stability” — something that, in reality, never existed — as well as the pride of being married, because she believed marriage was the greatest accomplishment anyone could achieve in life.
Eventually, somewhere around the fifth year, the marriage collapsed.
That was in 2022, and four years later, she still doesn’t know his true identity, and he still doesn’t know the truth about her fabricated background.
Two people had spent years trying to obtain something from each other while simultaneously concealing who they really were.
And perhaps that is the problem with attraction itself; You can attract someone with almost anything, e.g., a beautiful appearance, a carefully constructed story, money, status, charm, attention, and promises
But what attracts someone is not necessarily what makes them stay.
What stays is what happens after the attraction takes place. The validity of the ‘promotions’ and ‘offers’ should be (critically) evaluated before you decide to walk in and dine because an attractive offer may get you through the door, but it is not proof of what you will be served.
And if the impression is already questionable before the meal has even arrived, I see little reason to expect the service to become better once I have taken my seat.
Qadeem Zieman (mrshaher.official@gmail.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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