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Dads, Braids and Breaking News: Is CNN Running Out of Wars?
By Mihar Dias June 2026
By now humanity has survived recessions, pandemics, trade wars, inflation and the invention of oat milk. Yet apparently the truly historic event of our age is this: Singaporean fathers have learnt to tie ponytails.
Somewhere in Atlanta, a CNN producer must have stared at a world map and declared: "Ukraine? Too depressing. Middle East? Complicated. Global economy? Exhausting. Gentlemen, we have found it. A father in Singapore has mastered twin braids."
Breaking news indeed.
Singapore, never a country to miss an opportunity to convert ordinary life into a national achievement, has now elevated hairdressing into a social movement. Two stay-at-home fathers have launched workshops teaching other dads how to plait their daughters' hair. The initiative has attracted attention, admiration and enough media coverage to suggest somebody may soon nominate a ponytail for the Nobel Peace Prize.
One imagines the headlines.
“Dad Successfully Uses Hair Clip Without Injury.”
“Nation Rejoices As Pigtails Achieve Symmetry.”
“Markets Rise On Strong Braiding Data.”
Of course, there is nothing wrong with fathers helping their daughters prepare for school. Millions of fathers around the world have done precisely that for generations without requiring customised pink T-shirts, workshop certificates or international media validation.
In many Asian households, fathers quietly sent children to school, tied shoelaces, packed lunches and occasionally attempted hairstyles that resembled electrical accidents. Their reward was usually a complaint from the child and a gentle correction from the mother. CNN was strangely absent.
But Singapore has perfected the art of converting the mundane into performance art.
A country where parents queue overnight for kindergarten registrations, compare examination scores like stock prices and treat tuition centres as national security assets naturally finds competitive parenting irresistible.
The kiasu spirit knows no boundaries.
First came piano lessons.
Then coding camps.
Then Mandarin enrichment.
Now comes Advanced Paternal Braiding.
Some fathers may soon list "Level 3 French Braid Certification" on LinkedIn.
Human resource managers should prepare accordingly.
Skills:
• Leadership.
• Team building.
• Crisis management.
• Dutch braid proficiency.
One sympathises with these fathers. Modern parenthood increasingly resembles a corporate appraisal exercise. A father can no longer merely provide, protect and occasionally embarrass his children at school functions. He must also demonstrate emotional intelligence, culinary skills, educational supervision, environmental consciousness and apparently salon-grade hairstyling.
The poor man who simply drives his daughter to school now risks being labelled emotionally unavailable because he cannot execute a criss-cross braid.
Soon, schools may issue report cards.
Mathematics: A.
Science: B+.
Father's Ponytail Competency: Needs Improvement.
To be fair, the two founders appear sincere. They left corporate careers, became full-time caregivers and genuinely wish to encourage fathers to participate more actively in family life. There is merit in that. Parenting should not be outsourced entirely to mothers.
But one suspects Singapore's media machine occasionally suffers from a condition best described as Achievement Inflation.
Everything must become inspirational.
Every hobby becomes a movement.
Every activity becomes a social revolution.
A father brushing his daughter's hair becomes an act of challenging gender stereotypes. A packed lunch becomes a statement on domestic equality. A ponytail becomes a vehicle for societal transformation.
At this rate, a man changing batteries in a television remote may soon be hailed as dismantling patriarchal structures.
The customised pink T-shirts reading "Daddy Did My Hair" perhaps capture the age perfectly. Previous generations quietly did what needed to be done. Today's generation prints commemorative merchandise.
Imagine earlier eras.
“Daddy Changed The Tyre.”
“Daddy Paid The Mortgage.”
“Daddy Fixed The Roof.”
No T-shirts were necessary.
Perhaps this is what prosperity does. Once a society solves housing, safety, sanitation and economic stability, it begins celebrating increasingly microscopic victories.
Some countries launch rockets.
Others cure diseases.
Singapore teaches executives to braid hair.
And CNN broadcasts it to the world. https://newswav.com/A2606_QdFodK?s=A_y5d207l&language=en
One can only imagine the future.
“Dads and Algebra.”
“Dads and Bento Boxes.”
“Dads and Matching Socks.”
Eventually there may be a government grant.
A ministry.
Possibly a national braid strategy.
Yet behind the satire lies a simple truth. Good fathers have always done small things for their children. Sometimes they tie shoelaces. Sometimes they pack lunches. Sometimes they attempt hairstyles that defy both gravity and aesthetics.
Most do it quietly.
Without workshops.
Without hashtags.
Without international television crews.
And perhaps that is why the ordinary fathers of previous generations may smile at all this attention and ask the obvious question:
You tied a ponytail.
Big deal.
Mihar Dias (mihardias@gmail.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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