Have you ever noticed how people these days love to give themselves labels? “I’m an introvert, so I don’t do small talk.” “I’m not good at making new friends because I’m not that kind of person.” “You extroverts are naturally brave, we introverts are just built different.” Wah, suddenly everything becomes personality-based. Scared to talk = introvert. Awkward in crowds = introvert. Don’t know how to start a conversation = must be introvert lah.
Let’s pause for a moment. Do you really think being quiet or scared to talk is the same as being an introvert? Or are you just slapping a label on yourself to make your fear sound aesthetic and valid?
Here’s the thing: the real difference between introverts and extroverts is not whether you can blow water (aka talk nonsense with people). The actual difference is in how you recharge your energy. Extroverts feel energised by being around people. Introverts need alone time to recharge. That’s it. Full stop. It’s not about how brave you are. It’s not about whether you’re good at conversations. It’s not about whether you’re the life of the party.
You can be an introvert and still know how to talk with people. You can be an extrovert and still feel nervous meeting strangers. Blowing water is a skill, not a personality trait. It’s like riding a bicycle. The first time confirm fall down one. But slowly, you get better. You learn how to read the room. How to throw in a joke. How to keep a convo going even when the other person is dry as a biscuit. You train this.
But what’s happening now is people using “introvert” as an excuse. An escape. A glorified way to say “I’m scared.” Scared of saying the wrong thing. Scared of being judged. Scared of awkward silences. Then just say la, “I’m scared.” That’s honest. That’s brave. That’s real.
Because once you admit that you’re scared, then only you can start working on it. Start practicing. Start taking small steps. Smile at someone. Say “hi.” Ask “how’s your day?” Just train it slowly. Build up your confidence like building muscles in the gym. Nobody expects you to become a stand-up comedian overnight.
But if you keep saying “I’m introvert” like it’s a badge of honor to not talk to people, then sorry — you’re just limiting yourself. That label becomes your cage. A comfortable little excuse not to grow.
Here’s the truth: you are better than that. You’re not “bad at talking,” you’re just untrained. You’re not “anti-social,” you’re just afraid. And that’s okay. We all start somewhere. But don’t hide behind a label and pretend it’s your nature. Own your fear. Then conquer it.
So next time someone asks why you don’t like to talk, maybe don’t say “I’m an introvert.” Maybe try saying, “I’m working on it.” Because blowing water? It’s a skill. And skills can be learned.
Felicia Yoan is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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