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By Mihar Dias (C) Copyright January 2024
My college escapades were a comedy of errors – a symphony of cultural clashes, academic acrobatics, and the awkward art of dating in a land where everything was as foreign as algebra to a monkey.
The 15-week semester system was my Mount Everest, and despair was my Sherpa until I wrestled it into submission.
Culturally, I was an alien. In America, women sprinted faster than men, and their opinions held equal weight. I quickly discovered that my attempts at being polite often earned me a one-way ticket to social Siberia.
Now, let's talk about the dating disaster. Coming from a culture that treated kissing like a myth, I found myself in a crash course on proper puckering. The agony of that first experience still haunts my dreams.
Then there was the apothecary saga. Back home, an apothecary was a quaint Chinese medical hall where you could buy just about anything – except prophylactics.
So, imagine my horror venturing into the lily-white hamlet's apothecary, which seemed more like a hospital extension. The pharmacist, draped in a white coat, scrutinized me like Sherlock Holmes, solving a mystery.
After feigning interest in every aisle, I finally faced the elderly pharmacist. "Can I help you, sir?" I blurted out my rehearsed line, turning shades of red and pink. "Prophylactic." Cue, the young pre-med student assistant, burst into giggles.
"Ah, condoms, you mean. Lots of you hippie guys from across the railroad track come by at the weekends. How many dozens would you like?" Dozens? All I needed was one for my impending date. "You need a dozen. It's cheaper by the dozens. It's only 87% safe..." I zoned out, slapped money on the counter, grabbed the condoms, and bolted out without a thank you, leaving the pharmacist shouting about forgotten change.
It took me months to summon the courage to face that apothecary again.
Ah, college life – where every misstep is a punchline in the comedy of growing up.
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