After weeks of machiavellian moves and meme-worthy moments on The Celebrity Traitors – which, at its peak, has gripped a staggering 15 million of us – we are in the final stages of the game. As is so often the case in this show, the most entertaining players are long gone. Richard E Grant, we hardly knew ye. Joe Lycett malfunctioned and self-sabotaged. Ross Kemp’s greatest fear came true when he was murdered in plain sight with a lethal yawn. And Miranda Hart was a hoot, from her accidental Hitler impression to her skipping and, erm, thrusting.
We started the show with 21 players, and are now left with just 10. And while the lineup’s not as thrilling as it was, there are still some great personalities in the game, and some who wield real power. As it stands, none of our three Traitors are under suspicion at all; Maya Jama, King Kenny and James Acaster are, quite hilariously, considered the most trustworthy players in the game. But as we know, this is an unpredictable show, so that doesn’t mean those three are guaranteed to win.
Without further ado, in ascending order, here’s our power ranking of the final 10…
10. Joanne McNally
The Irish comedian certainly throws her weight around in the castle, and has offered some of the funniest lines of the series. (Personal favourite: “I’m a single woman on dating apps. Do you know how much lying goes into that? Yesterday I told a man I enjoyed nature and glass blowing.”) But, at this point, she is the weakest player in the game. In the penultimate episode, either Joanne or Sharon Rooney will be banished, and regardless of the outcome, I can’t see her making it to the final roundtable. There was the bizarre slip-up she made about the crypts, not to mention her chaotic voting patterns and the fact she is the only contestant who hasn’t voted for a banished Traitor so far. I will really miss her for the one-liners, though, and the neon, Brat-style nails.
9. Sharon Rooney
Like Joanne, actor Sharon is going into Thursday’s episode as one of the two players who could be banished by the Faithful. Even if she’s not the one to get the chop next, her days are surely numbered: lots of the stars have started to suspect her for suddenly being more outspoken, and for having such strong opinions about who should get powers in the scarecrow challenge. RIP, Poundland Poirot.
8. James Blunt
You can’t say Blunty hasn’t played an enthusiastic game. From his shield theory/campaign to get out poor old Julie Hesmondhalgh, to his offputting bossiness in the challenges and his unsettling shower segment, the singer has certainly given it his all. Unfortunately, when it comes to his Traitor-hunting, he’s been wide of the mark every time. And now he’s putting all his trust in Kenny. Goodbye, my friend.
7. Leigh-Anne Pinnock
The Little Mix star survived lipgloss-gate, and then dance-gate (one of the highlights of the series, which she’s been unfairly punished for if you ask me!), but I’m not sure how many lives she’s got left. I can see her possibly making it to the final roundtable as she’s quite inoffensive and non-threatening, but I don’t see glory for the singer in my crystal ball.
6. King Kenny
At the moment, the Faithful don’t suspect former boxer Kenny one bit. He’s got the biggest, most infectious smile in the castle and he’s also the right-hand man of his all-powerful fellow Traitor Maya, so it’s possible she’ll bring him all the way to the final by her side. But I don’t think he’s a particularly influential player – I’ve not seen enough of him flexing at the roundtable and guiding theories in certain distracting directions. There’s also a chance that, despite his and Maya’s closeness, as the newest recruit, he could be thrown under the bus.
5. Sebastian ‘Bash’ Croft
Bash is nestled right in the middle of this power ranking because he’s the sweet baby of the group, who I’m not convinced has the authority to steer the Faithful to the right answer, even if he has the right answer. On Thursday’s episode, the actor did something that no other player in the series has done so far: raise Maya’s name. In the 4x4 on the way home from the blindfold challenge, Bash clocked how no one has even mentioned Maya. But he stopped short of voting for her at the roundtable. And Maya seems to have clocked on to the fact that he’s a threat... throwing a rogue vote his way in the latest episode. Might that get people talking?
4. James Acaster
N’aw, lovely James A. The most reluctant Traitor to have ever graced the turret in the history of the game. If the comedian was going to crack, it would have been instantly, at that first roundtable after he was recruited – not only did he not crack, but by continuing to play the game in the guise of a Faithful, even to himself, he has flown completely under the radar. The Faithful not only trust him, but they are protective of him: just look at how Sharon tried to shield him from having the stress of taking the dagger, in the scarecrow challenge, an act of kindness that only led the others to suspect her. I wouldn’t bet on his fellow Traitors looking out for him in the same way though, after he refused to help them out in the blindfold game…
3. Michael Sheen
Queen Clauds might have missed a trick not selecting Michael as a Traitor. He’s a big dog, he radiates dad energy, and he literally has a Welsh accent that is real (never forget when Charlotte Berman from series three pretended to be from Abergavenny so people would trust her more). Some of the players have started to question why on earth the actor wouldn’t have been recruited by now, so he might be at risk of banishment – or indeed recruitment or murder – but whenever he leaves the game, he’ll be doing so as one of its most authoritative players. I can’t stop thinking about his terrifying “I dare you to get close to me” grin during the blindfold challenge. If I were a Traitor, I’d have crumbled right there and then.
2. Romesh Ranganathan
Romesh has a quiet power. And wisdom. He should not be underestimated. The comedian has got a good balancing act going on: he’s not exactly outspoken (and has hence evaded murder), and yet he’s very much on a calm and considered fact-finding mission (so the Faithful trust him). He seems a little lonely after the departures of his pals Rob Beckett and Jerry Hall, but he’s very well liked among the other players thanks to his deadpan humour and general lack of spikiness. I think his popularity will get him to the final.
1. Maya Jama
Yes, I know, it’s extremely boring and predictable to crown Maya Jama as the most powerful player in the game. But she is! And no one in the castle has got a scoobie. In the show’s opening stages, the Love Island presenter wasted no time throwing a frazzled Richard E Grant under the bus, and ever since, she has been embracing her villain era with relish. She is a total puppeteer – ruling the turret, devising all the strategy and sending James A and King Kenny off on little murderous errands. And never not looking gorgeous while she does it. I may have ranked Joanne as the least powerful player, but I think she was actually onto something when she said Maya would never be banished as “she’s too hot – the hot ones always survive”.
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