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By Mihar Dias (C) Copyright September 2024
As I strolled through the Perdana Botanical Gardens this morning, I received a text that would’ve made Mark Twain proud: “Is it true? Has Halim passed away?”
Now, I could have easily let out a sigh of dramatic despair, collapsed to the ground, and written my name in the dirt with a final shaking hand – but then I realised, Halim, my walking buddy, was right there. Very much alive. A bit sweaty, maybe, but definitely breathing and nowhere near the pearly gates.
This strange report of his demise had spread like wildfire through social media, creating quite the stir. Now, imagine our shock when we discovered that while we were busy navigating the garden’s jogging paths, Halim was allegedly busy navigating the afterlife.
Tan Sri Abdul Halim Ali, former chief secretary to the government, hasn’t let the "news" of his death slow him down, though. In fact, the man seems healthier than most of us who still cling desperately to life’s comforts—like nasi lemak and afternoon naps. In classic understated fashion, Halim responded to the news of his own passing with, “I’m still well. I’m not dead yet.”
There it is. Not a gasp of horror, not a tearful rebuttal, just a calm reminder that he’s still here, pounding the pavement at the Perdana Gardens while journalists pound their keyboards to correct the mistake. Rumour has it that after hearing the news, Halim took an extra lap around the park, just to remind us all who’s still got it.
It seems that in these fast-paced times, fueled by instant news and even faster fingers, death can be reduced to nothing more than a trending hashtag. And sure, it's not every day that one has to confirm their own existence to the world, but Halim handled it with all the grace of a man who probably just finished his 10,000 steps for the day. In fact, if anyone should feel truly offended here, it’s Halim’s Fitbit, which was very much alive and counting during this whole ordeal.
Mark Twain once famously remarked that reports of his death had been “greatly exaggerated.” Similarly, Halim’s response was a masterclass in coolness: “I’m still here.” But, as a friend, I can’t help but notice one important difference. Twain, with his characteristic wit, took more offense at rumours that he was poor rather than dead. Halim, ever the understated civil servant, didn’t even express the slightest concern over the financial implications of the rumour. If anything, the only damage done was to his reputation as someone not easy to reach in the afterlife—or apparently, on WhatsApp.
The moral of the story? Before you go announcing someone’s grand exit from this world, maybe check in with them first. Chances are, they’re still enjoying their morning jog, wondering why everyone keeps asking them for a status update on their mortality. And as for Halim, he’s probably out there right now, silently laughing at the absurdity of it all, racking up even more steps while the rest of us scramble to keep up with the news.
So, if you hear rumours of Halim’s death again, don’t bother sending flowers. Send running shoes—he’s probably already out there lapping us.
Mihar Dias is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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