There are mornings when I wake up already feeling late, even before I look at the clock.
My phone is beside me, messages are waiting, work is waiting, an article is half-finished in my head, and somewhere in the middle of all that, I am already thinking about the day’s side gig. Before I even leave home, my mind has created a full schedule, three problems and at least five things that can possibly go wrong. 😂
That has become a familiar rhythm in my life. I move between writing, business, family responsibilities, errands and side projects, constantly trying to squeeze one more thing into a day that already feels full. Some days I finish everything and still go to bed thinking about what I have not done.
The LRT and train are part of this routine too. I have stood on crowded platforms, squeezed into packed coaches and travelled alongside Malaysians heading to offices, schools, shops and countless other responsibilities. Everyone is going somewhere, including me.
Yet somewhere between one station and the next, I began thinking about something much deeper than the morning rush.
For years, I had assumed that the voice inside my head was simply “me.” It was the voice telling me that I was tired, successful, worried, behind schedule or not doing enough. It carried my ambitions, my frustrations, my plans and my fears, and I rarely questioned it.
Then life gave me enough experience to see how quickly that voice changes.
The person who feels frustrated in the morning can be laughing over coffee in the afternoon. A problem that feels enormous today can become almost insignificant a year later. My ambitions have changed, my responsibilities have changed and the person I thought I was ten or twenty years ago is not exactly the person I am today.
So what is the “I” that remains through all these changes?
This is where the teaching of the pure “I” began to make sense to me.
The “I-thought” is part of the changing story. It identifies itself with the body, the mind, the job, the achievements and the problems. It says, “I am a writer,” “I am a businessman,” “I am tired,” “I need more money,” or “I must get this done today.”
But the pure “I” does not depend on any of those descriptions. It is the simple sense of being that exists before the mind starts attaching labels to it.
That idea sounds philosophical until I bring it back into ordinary life.
I still rush to work. I still write, handle business, take on side gigs, manage responsibilities and stare impatiently at the LRT arrival board as though my concentration might make the train appear faster. 😂 Life has not suddenly become peaceful and perfectly organised.
What has changed is my relationship with the story in my head.
A difficult day does not have to become a difficult life. A stressful moment does not have to become my identity. A thought does not always deserve my complete attention simply because it happens to be loud.
That has become an important lesson for me.
I used to think progress was mainly about doing more, achieving more and moving faster. Life gradually taught me that progress can also mean carrying less unnecessary mental weight.
Work still matters. Money still matters. Family matters. Ambition matters. Side gigs matter. There is nothing wrong with wanting to build a better life.
But there is a difference between living those responsibilities and allowing them to completely define the person living them.
That difference has become more meaningful to me as the years have passed.
Looking back, my lifestyle has changed in ways I could never have predicted. Technology has changed how I work. Social media has changed how I communicate. Side gigs have changed how people earn. Trains, traffic and the daily Malaysian rush remain familiar, but I have changed within them.
I have become more interested in perspective than perfection.
I still make mistakes. I still get impatient. I still overthink. I still have days when coffee feels less like a drink and more like emotional infrastructure. 😂 But I have also learned that life does not have to be completely under control before it can be appreciated.
Perhaps the deeper lesson is not about escaping the “I-thought.” It is about understanding that the thought is not the whole of who I am.
The mind can create the story, but the story is not the entire existence.
That realisation has given me a little more space to live, work, laugh and keep moving without taking every thought so seriously.
Thank you for being part of this journey through my everyday stories, observations, struggles, laughter and occasional philosophical thoughts between a cup of coffee and a crowded train.
Tomorrow morning, the mind will probably start again: “Annan, hurry up. So many things to do!”
And I probably will.
After all, the train will not wait. 😂
But somewhere beneath all that rushing, I am learning something simple:
Life can move quickly without the “I” having to lose itself in the movement.
Thought of the Day by Annan Vaithegi
Annan Vaithegi (annanvaithegi@icloud.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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