I absolutely love time travel movies, for example, Tenet (2020), Déjà Vu (2006), and Dark (2017), Manifest (2018), Bodies (2023) on Netflix. Perhaps I have always entertained the idea of the possibility of ‘going back in time’ to correct my mistakes and wrong decisions, or ‘look into the future’ to make the ‘best’ decision.
But instead of dismissing it on the conventional wisdom of ‘living life with no regrets’ by acceptance and self-compassion, OR ‘there will never be the best decisions in life, you just have to make the best out of every decision’. Permit me today to let these ‘What ifs’ thoughts linger without paralysing doubts and crippling anxious indecisiveness.
I took a piece of paper and pen, and wrote down 5 “What ifs’, my list looks something like this:
- What if I pursued a career in law?
- What if I took over my family business?
- What if I pursued money instead of passion?
- What if I did not join politics?
- What if my first job was not social work?
Then I mapped out my imaginary life in each scenario:
- If I became a lawyer, I would have gotten myself involved in some human rights or pro borno work.
- If I took over my family business, I would have likely incorporated many programs for underprivileged children in the business.
- If I pursued money, my bank account balance would not have been so repulsive like now (this sounds like the best scenario so far haha).
- If I did not join politics, I would have volunteered for some social movement anyways.
- Ok, my first full time job was social work, but prior to that I did some part time work in a legal office, kindergarten, tuition center. So technically my first job was not social work.
Few years ago, an intern and I were casually talking about ‘life’ under a tree shading us from the blazing sun. She mentioned that she wanted to work in the field of environmental protection or sustainable development policies after she graduated college. “Which path should I choose?” she asked. “Maybe I can become a regulator, or work in a think tank.”. Now, being the ‘senior’ I felt compelled to share some ‘nuggets of wisdom’ from my ‘vast working experience’ hahahahaha.
Without skipping a beat, I told her: “There is no one path to reach a goal, you can be a lawyer and do environmental protection, you could be a researcher, forest ranger, policy maker, manager, politician, and still do the same,” I continued “To achieve a goal we need different people in different sectors to work together, no matter where you are or what skills you have, you will still need to connect with others that are likeminded.”
Fast forward to 2024, I sometimes catch myself toying with the idea of ‘What ifs’ and ‘What is my REAL PURPOSE in life’. On those days I would scroll Instagram endlessly to find videos that gives good advice – ‘How to be a disciplined and successful person’, ‘The 48 Laws of Power’, ‘Investing and money hacks’, etc.
As a matter of fact, it really doesnt matter if I made the right or wrong personal decision, and there is no perfect timing for it. If I regret not exercising enough, then I should start exercising TODAY; and the same logic works for investing, reading more, living a healthy lifestyle, and so on. If you have a religious belief, then your calling or purpose may be attached to that belief. (The caveat is that this only applies to personal decisions within one’s control, and not professional decisions)
At long last I found a new mantra for myself: If in doubt – just do/try it, If there is an opportunity – grab it, (but make sure it is legal).
Joyce Tan is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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