Balancing a demanding career with family life is never easy, but Toh Puan Raja Noora Ashikin Raja Abdullah’s journey proves that it is possible with support, sacrifice and unshakeable resolve.
She began her banking career in Kuala Lumpur in 1972, and later moved into investment banking. Due to work commitments, Raja Noora Ashikin found herself living apart from her husband.
Her husband, Tun Ramli Ngah Talib, was then an executive councillor with the Perak government. Exco members were required to reside in the state.
“My husband is such an open person. I was allowed to do whatever I wanted. He never held me back. He knew I loved my profession as a banker.
“He supported me even after he moved to Perak. I stayed in Kuala Lumpur for four years,” recalled Raja Noora Ashikin.
“I was lucky in the sense that chartered merchant bankers had a five-day work week, while other banks operated half-days on Saturdays.
“So, every Friday after work, I’d pick up my eldest son and take the 10pm train to Ipoh. My husband would meet us at the station at 2am. Then on Sunday, I’d take the 2am train back to Kuala Lumpur, drop my son, Rizal Ashram, at kindergarten, and go straight to work.”
It was a gruelling schedule, but she credits her support system for helping her manage both work and family.
“My mother, grandmother and mother-in-law helped tremendously, especially when I had twins. Without them, I couldn’t have managed,” she said.
The man in grey
Ramli, who went on to become Perak’s longest-serving Menteri Besar (1983–1999), later served as Member of Parliament for Pasir Salak (1999–2008) and was Dewan Rakyat Speaker from 2004 to 2008. On May 1, 2025, he was sworn in as Penang Governor.
He and Raja Noora Ashikin have been married since 1973. They have four children and seven grandchildren.
Their first meeting was by chance – Raja Noora Ashikin had accompanied a friend who was meeting her fiancé for lunch.
“At the time, I was working at Bank Bumiputra Malaysia Berhad. I followed my friend, and there were two gentlemen there. I knew her fiancé, but I wondered, ‘Who is this other guy?’” she recalled with a laugh.
“He was dressed all in grey – shirt and pants. It was his favourite. Every time I met him, he was always wearing a grey shirt and grey pants. Grey shirt and grey pants!
“He was and is such a sweet man. There were a couple of times when I would be out with my friends and the car would break down. He was the one who would come to our rescue.”
Raja Noora Ashikin said she knew Ramli was serious when, after she told him she was planning to further her studies in the United Kingdom, he asked, “What if I say, don’t go?”
“It was then I knew he was interested in me, and so, I decided to choose him. I have no regrets.”
Ramli and Raja Noora Ashikin always made it a point to spend time with their family. – Image: Raja Noora Ashikin/Facebook
Balancing public life and family values
Raja Noora Ashikin said her children were very young when Ramli became Perak’s eighth Menteri Besar in 1983, but they made it a point not to change the family dynamics.
“The two eldest were in primary school, while the twins were a few months old. My husband always believed there’s no such thing as ‘no time’. He said it’s about prioritising,” she said.
“Every Wednesday, we would sit with the kids. He would go over their mathematics homework, and I would handle Bahasa Melayu. Also, he locked the television on weekdays. They were only allowed to watch it on weekends.
“When one of my sons was studying in Seremban, he would make it a point to attend as many events as possible, even if it meant going there at 4pm and returning at midnight.”
She added that their children were not given special privileges in school. They even told teachers, “Don’t be afraid to punish them if they misbehave.”
“We always dropped them outside the school gates. We never drove in. It was important to us that they stayed grounded,” she said.
Raja Noora Ashikin also revealed that Ramli enjoys cooking – a skill he passed on to their children: Datuk Rizal Ashram Ramli, Putri Azalea Ashram Ramli, and Putri Yasmin Ashram Ramli. Meanwhile, their other son, Ramelle Ashram Ramli, helps with preparation and cleaning up.
“For us, family is very important, especially for him, as he is so busy. So, whenever we can, we have family bonding time.”
Doing what’s right
Even as she raised four children, Raja Noora Ashikin remained active in women’s empowerment work – through the Perak Association of State Assemblymen’s Wives (Baiduri), the Women’s Institute of Management, the Malaysian Women Graduates Association, and as president of the Malaysian Women’s Hockey Association.
“Women today have choices. In the past, we had responsibilities but no choice. Now, whether to be a homemaker or a leader, it’s up to us,” she said.
“I see many highly educated women nowadays who prefer to raise their families. So, it’s a question of choice.
“In my case, I had no choice but to work to support my family.”
She also challenges the notion that leadership and femininity are incompatible.
“Our softness and gentleness are strengths, not weaknesses. In Penang, we have women leading in legal, finance and other departments. Women can lead effectively while embracing who they are.”
To her, leadership is not merely about holding a title – it’s about doing what is right for the organisation.
One example is her role as a board member of the Women’s Institute of Management since 1997. When a mental health committee was formed ahead of the Institute’s Mental Health Forum on Oct 12, 2024, Raja Noora Ashikin volunteered to be a committee member.
The committee’s chairperson, Datuk Dr Marina Lalitha David, said she was astounded by how far and how hard Raja Noora Ashikin worked to ensure the forum’s success.
“She was the most active and hands-on person. She got to the heart of the matter and ensured everything was thrashed out thoroughly so that every aspect was covered,” said Dr David.
“We even proposed her as the moderator of the forum. She did an awesome job – she knew what she was talking about and engaged well with the audience and speakers.
“The Sultanah of Perak was our guest of honour, and Toh Puan made sure that I, as chairperson, was seated next to her. She didn’t want to grab the moment. She knew the most important thing was to highlight the issue of mental health.”
That selfless attitude of doing what is right is something Raja Noora Ashikin told Twentytwo13 yesterday was instilled in her by her mother and grandmother.
For Raja Noora Ashikin, a leader is not defined by power, but by the ability to use one’s knowledge to organise a team, equip others with the tools to carry out plans, and ensure the organisation thrives.
“Leadership requires the support of everyone. We must work together with empathy and respect, and stay true to ourselves. I’m proud to be part of a team,” she said.
Tomorrow: Raja Noora Ashikin on the welfare of children with special needs.
