A recent TikTok has been going around and also has reached news outlets like the malaymail, went viral when a student casually told his teacher, “Saya datang sekolah sebab girlfriend saya je” (“I come to school just because of my girlfriend”). The teacher, stunned while recording that scene. While many online found the clip humorous, it also raised deeper questions about teen relationships and how schools often respond when academics are involved.
Is it wrong for students to be in relationships while still in school? The short answer, not necessarily. Adolescence is a time of emotional growth, self-discovery, and learning how to navigate social bonds. Relationships can teach empathy, communication, and even motivation. Some students, like the one in the video, may feel more excited to come to school if someone they care about is there. That said, without proper balance, emotional distractions can affect academic focus.
What’s concerning, though, is the common reaction from some educators, blaming relationships when students perform poorly. Instead of exploring underlying factors like stress, mental health, family struggles, or teaching gaps, relationships become the easiest scapegoat. “You're failing because you're dating” is a simpler conclusion than asking, “What support do you need to do better?”
Rather than discouraging relationships outright, schools should encourage open conversations and provide tools to help students manage their emotions and time wisely. Educators can use these moments as teaching opportunities, helping teens understand boundaries, priorities, and healthy dynamics.
The student in the video has made an apology video and shared his end of the story, but it reflects a reality many teens live. If a relationship is what gets a student through the school gate, then maybe that’s not a problem, it’s an opportunity. An opportunity for teachers to connect, understand, and guide with empathy, rather than judge.
After all, isn’t education supposed to prepare students for life, including the messy, emotional parts?
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