It is honestly heartbreaking to watch the CCTV footage of an elderly uncle in his 70s being shoved onto the floor inside a coffee shop. The uncle was already struggling to walk, reportedly relying on tables for support because of an injury. Yet, in the middle of what should have been an ordinary day, he ended up on the floor after being pushed by another man following a confrontation over the uncle patting a little girl's head. And all I could think while watching the footage was: Was this really necessary?
Let me be clear: parents have every right to protect their children. We live in a time when parents are understandably more cautious about strangers approaching or touching their kids. There are genuine dangers out there, and nobody should be expected to ignore behaviour that makes them uncomfortable simply. But surely there is a difference between setting a boundary and using violence.
If a stranger pats your child's head and you are uncomfortable with it, you can simply say, "Uncle, please don't touch my child." That's it. The uncle could say, "Oh, sorry. Sorry." And the conversation could end there. Nobody needs to shout, nobody needs to threaten anyone, and most importantly, nobody needs to put their hands on a vulnerable elderly man.
If you genuinely believe someone has crossed a serious line or behaved inappropriately towards your child, there are proper channels to deal with it. You can make a police report and let the authorities investigate. But turning a disagreement into physical violence? That is where things become completely disproportionate.
What also surprised me was seeing some reactions online blaming the uncle entirely, with comments along the lines of "Do not touch other people's children" (Source: Comment under @being1ton's Instagram Reels). I understand the principle behind that statement. Yes, ideally, people should ask before touching someone else's child. Boundaries matter. But at the same time, let's not pretend that every pat on the head is automatically some sinister act.
For many older Singaporeans and Malaysians, especially those from a different generation, patting a child's head is a very ordinary gesture of affection. It can mean, "Aiyo, so cute," "Good girl," or simply, "Hello, little one." It doesn't necessarily carry the meaning that some people on the internet seem determined to assign to it. There is a difference between saying, "Please don't touch my child," and immediately treating a harmless gesture as though something terrible has happened.
Look at the uncle's age. Look at the way he was already struggling to walk. This wasn't some young man looking for a fight. This was an elderly person who was physically vulnerable. Imagine the pain of that fall. Imagine already having an injury, struggling to walk, needing tables to steady yourself, and then suddenly being grabbed and thrown onto the floor. Even if you believe the uncle's action was inappropriate, does the punishment really have to be physical violence?
We should remember that there is a human being on the other side of every confrontation. The uncle is someone's father, someone's grandfather, someone's neighbour or someone's friend. And that little girl is also a human being who witnessed a frightening confrontation involving her own father. Honestly, I can't help wondering: who was more traumatic for that child，the elderly uncle briefly patting her head, or watching her father violently throw him onto the floor?
Maybe the answer isn't as complicated as we make it.
The situation could have gone like this: "Uncle, please don't touch my child." "Oh, sorry. Sorry." "It's okay, uncle. Just don't do it again." "Okay, okay." The family continues enjoying their makan. The uncle walks away. And everyone goes home.
No screaming. No violence. No elderly man lying injured on the floor. No child witnessing an ugly confrontation. No CCTV footage being replayed online and debated by thousands of strangers.
Just two adults communicating like adults.
We should absolutely teach children about boundaries. We should absolutely take inappropriate behaviour seriously. And if something genuinely concerning happens, report it. But let's not lose our sense of proportion. Not every misunderstanding is an attack. Not every uncomfortable interaction requires confrontation. And certainly, not every disagreement deserves violence.
Because sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is simply say, "Please don't do that," accept the apology, and walk away.
Protecting our children matters. But so does protecting the basic humanity we owe one another.
Felicia Yoan (feliciayoan11@gmail.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
The User Content (as defined on Newswav Terms of Use) above including the views expressed and media (pictures, videos, citations etc) were submitted & posted by the author. Newswav is solely an aggregation platform that hosts the User Content. If you have any questions about the content, copyright or other issues of the work, please contact creator@newswav.com.