Many people assume that as long as we are not “insane,” our mental health must be fine. Yet mental well‑being is far more complex. It often takes self‑awareness to recognize when something within us needs attention—especially when we face relationship tensions or life challenges.
Mental health encompasses our social, emotional, and psychological well‑being. It influences how we think, feel, behave, and relate to others. The World Health Organisation defines health as “a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.”
Life's existence becomes meaningless when we lose our health. Some people don't give a dime to matters relating to their health as they believe health is predestined. Therefore they neglect it, not realizing that poor health—especially mental health—creates a ripple effect that impacts not only the individual but also people around them.
Why Mental Health Matters Most
To be truly healthy, we need harmony in our physical, mental, and social wellness. If I were to rank them, I would place mental health first, because it shapes everything else. From recent encounters, I’ve noticed how a person’s behavior is often governed by their mental state. Even someone physically healthy may struggle emotionally or socially if their mental well‑being is misaligned.
The Blind Spot in Relationships
Many of us fail to examine our own mental wellness because we believe we are fine—it’s others who are difficult. This mindset becomes the root of conflict. In relationships, we often insist that the other person is wrong. But meaningful change begins with self‑reflection. Without it, strive becomes constant.
Why Change Feels Hard
We often say “easier said than done” to avoid taking action. Changing our mindset is difficult, especially when deep hurt, grudges, or unforgiveness are involved. People who are hurt usually respond in two ways:
- withdraw and build emotional walls, or
- confront the conflict and move forward with a renewed mindset.
The second path requires coping strategies, especially when the relationship is strained but still worth restoring.
How Life Experiences Shape Us
Over the decades, I’ve seen how people—including myself—change emotionally and psychologically. Our life experiences shape who we become. Because of work and busyness, I didn’t always take time to observe people deeply, and now I’m surprised by how much has changed without me noticing.
Dealing with Difficult Personalities
At times, I grow weary of dealing with people who insist on their own ways or who scrutinize how I do things. Accepting others as they are is a virtue, but it becomes challenging when someone is rigid, perfectionistic, or overly controlling. Such rigidity often reflects their own mental state.
Our mental well‑being determines how we handle daily conflicts. If we react with offence or hold grudges, our mental state suffers. When relationships become difficult due to personality clashes, we can either react negatively or choose to adjust our attitude. If we cannot change others, we can at least change ourselves—with God’s help when we feel too weak.
Mental and physical health are closely linked. Negative emotions trigger stress hormones like cortisol, which harm our physical well‑being. This is why I believe good health begins with a healthy mind.
Family Dynamics and the Need for Healing
In casual interactions, conflict may be minimal. But within close‑knit families, frequent interaction often leads to misunderstandings, hurt, and grudges. When conflict stems from a fixed mental frame, healing requires a shift in mindset. Without this, strive becomes a constant presence in the home.
Growing Through Reflection and Faith
Over the years, I’ve learned the importance of self‑reflection— understanding my strengths, weaknesses, and how I relate to others. Strive robs us of peace, joy, and strength. I don’t claim to have fully mastered my mindset, but I’m grateful for a personal God who helps me grow little by little. With His strength, I can face what feels impossible, as long as I surrender fully.
A Mindset Shift in My Senior Years
As I grow older, I realize many things are no longer worth the emotional burden. I now choose to:
- adopt a “no big deal” mindset for trivial conflicts
- maintain positivity and stay socially connected
- forgive quickly, knowing life is short
- let go and let God guide my steps
- avoid complaining and see situations from new perspectives
- pray more and worry less
Embracing Wisdom as We Age
As we age, may we become wiser, more tolerant, more mindful, and more positive. May we choose happiness, simplicity, and kindness. May we judge less, calculate less, and get angry less. And may we learn to “see open”—看开—letting go, taking things easy, and viewing challenges with a broader, calmer perspective.
Let us stay physically healthy, mentally strong, and truly happy.
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GAN BH (bhgan1706@gmail.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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