THE Hindi movie, Assi, raises a hard-hitting question: What are we teaching children in schools?
In one scene, a teacher – a survivor of gang rape – is trying to return to teaching and resume a normal life. But the principal is reluctant to allow her back, revealing that the school students, whom the teacher had taught, had formed a WhatsApp group making memes and distasteful comments about her assault. One student even remarked: “Why wasn’t I invited?”
The principal noted that while the school had produced top rankers, they had fundamentally failed.
“What are we teaching our children if we cannot instil basic values in them?” lamented the principal.
The scene highlighted an important fact – modern-day violence among youngsters is no longer just physical. It has also transcended digital space, underscoring the need for empathy and morality.
Last year, the award-winning mini-series, Adolescence, sparked a global debate on the impact of social media on children. It is about a 13-year-old boy from a loving, non-abusive family environment, who is arrested for the brutal murder of his schoolmate.
The series addressed a harrowing question about how children turn to violence without proper digital monitoring.
Accordingly, cyberbullying, non-consensual dissemination of intimate images and coded emojis with labels on social media have heavily shaped children’s world nowadays. Shielding them from the physical world does not completely keep them safe, as the real threat is in the various apps accessible on their phones and laptops.
The series revealed that teenage male insecurities and inability to handle rejection can lead them to radicalisation through toxic, misogynistic and incel content online.
Leaving children unmonitored in the world of algorithms has led them to believe that:
if someone rejects you, you have a right to punish the person; and
expressing vulnerabilities makes you weak and the real strength is about dominance and anger.
This is where parents and teachers need to step in to have open conversations with their children and to monitor their screen time.
The notion that “boys will be boys” removes accountability and reinforces stereotypes. It is completely normal for children of all genders to emote and express a range of feelings.
Having open conversations and validating children’s feelings would build an emotional trust, which can then help the children to understand that rejection is part of life and boundaries must be respected.
Across the globe, many countries have taken proactive measures. The French parliament approved a Bill banning social media access for children under 15.
Meanwhile, schools in England are introducing lessons for boys on respecting women and girls, including issues of consent, coercion and online misogyny.
Denmark has one of the lowest bullying rates in Europe after years of weekly empathy classes introduced through class sessions (Klassens tid) where they discuss conflicts and how to support each other.
In view of the rising violence and bullying among school students, Malaysia has banned social media use for children under 16.
Our society can come together to build the character of the young ones. Teach them empathy, respect, resilience and to be grateful for the comfort we have today.
Teach them to accept others as they are, no matter how different they are from us. The basic tenet in every religion is compassion for a fellow human being and to put others before oneself, regardless of race, colour, religion, creed, gender, language, sexual orientation and varying ability.
Real education builds empathy. True learning is not about looking down on others but growing one’s potential to help others.
Bad parenting is instilling fear by saying: “If you do not study, you will end up like them (manual labourers)”. Instead, empower children’s mindset by motivating them to study to make a better world to lift others.
The heartwarming story about an elderly teacher meeting his student years later sums up the essence of teaching. The student, who is now a teacher, recounted a life-changing incident in the classroom when the teacher told all the students to close their eyes while the teacher checked every child’s pocket privately for a missing watch. Even after finding the stolen watch in the student’s pocket, the teacher never exposed the student.
The elderly teacher listened quietly and replied: “I remember the incident but I never knew it was you because I too kept my eyes closed while searching”.
True education is built on compassion and kindness. If to correct you must humiliate, then you don’t know how to teach.
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