A young primary school girl was recently caught on video crying alone in the school canteen, surrounded by a group of female teachers scolding her loudly. Despite her tears and attempts to explain herself, the teachers continued to pressure her, leaving her isolated and humiliated in front of her classmates.
Publicly shaming a child, especially at a young age, can cause deep emotional pain. Children may forget what they learn in the classroom, but they won’t forget how someone made them feel. Being scolded harshly in front of peers can lead to feelings of shame, anxiety and even a fear of school itself - what’s difference between discipline and bullying when the child is left crying, alone and afraid to speak up? In moments like this, the brain goes into fight-or-flight mode – a state where even adults struggle to think clearly, let alone a young child. When a student is overwhelmed by fear or embarrassment, they are no longer learning – they’re just trying to survive the moment. Schools should be safe spaces where students feel supported, not places where mistakes are punished with public shame or emotional stress.
This heartbreaking moment makes us wonder about the kind of leadership being shown – is it firm guidance or something harsher? True leadership isn’t about shouting or using fear, it’s about guiding and supporting children with understanding and respect. When those entrusted with shaping young minds chose criticism and harshness over empathy, what message are they sending? Perhaps quiet guidance would be better instead? - a chance to correct without causing shame.
This incident reflects a lack of kind communication – an area where teachers can grow by learning more empathetic and respectful ways to interact with students. One more powerful method is Nonviolent Communication (NVC), developed by psychologist Marshall Rosenberg. NVC is a way of talking that helps people understand and care for each other better with four simple steps: watching without judging, noticing feelings, identifying needs and making respectful requests. In addition to NVC, teachers can also use other compassionate approaches such as Mindful Communication, which encourages calm and thoughtful responses.
Instead of getting angry or blaming, the teacher might say “can you help me understand your situation”, “are you feeling hurt? I want you to understand what you’re going through”, ‘let’s find a way to solve this together, okay?”. This way, the child feels heard and supported, not judged.
All of these methods – whether it’s Nonviolent Communication or Mindful Communication – are built on the same core value: kindness. They aim to guide children with empathy rather than fear. Sadly, in this incident, that kindness was overlooked and the opportunity to connect with the child in a meaningful way was lost.
If the teachers had used this way of talking, things could have been very different. Instead of crying and feeling bad in front of everyone, the girl might have had a calm talk where she felt listened to. When children feel cared for, they are more likely to learn and improve. But if they feel ashamed, they start to fear teachers, stay quiet and associate school with stress. Teaching rules doesn’t have to hurt a child’s feelings – especially when they are young and learning. The sad truth is, in this case, it seems the teachers were the ones who needed to learn. It’s hard to teach kindness if the adults don’t know how to show it.
Good leaders, don't control through fear - they lead with care. When teachers are kind and understanding, children don’t just follow rules, they grow as people. Let’s make schools places where kids feel safe to make mistakes, learn from them and still feel respected. Because the most important lesson they remember isn’t what they learned in class – it’s how they were treated when they needed help.
Nabil Arafat (mhmmdnabilarafat@gmail.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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