When Murray Hunter was arrested in Thailand last week, a professor I know sent me a message. I suppose he thought the news would interest me — after all, Hunter and I once wrote for the same kind of outlets: FMT, Malaysia Today, and a couple of others.
But when I learned that Hunter’s arrest was probably related to his political writings about Malaysia, I was surprised to find that I felt nothing at all. No shock. No sympathy. Nothing.
You’d think I would feel something — anger, sadness, perhaps even solidarity. But I didn’t. And it was then I realised: I might not have any genuine connection to the people I consider my peers in this industry, or even to the media outlets that have published my work.
In the last two or three years, my writings have appeared almost everywhere — FMT, Malaysiakini, Malaysia Today, Focus Malaysia, Utusan, NST, The Star, SCMP, Bebas News, Aliran, The Scoop, Malaysia Now — I think I’ve gone the full stretch. Yet, from my reaction to Hunter’s situation, I wonder: would I feel anything if any of these publications, editors, or journalists got into trouble?
I’d like to say yes, but the more probable answer is no.
When Raja Petra passed away September last year, I remember feeling something — his death struck me like I’d been doused with cold water on a cold morning. For days, I even thought of stopping my political writing altogether.
That feeling I had for Raja Petra wasn’t just because my work was often featured on his platform. It was because I saw myself in him.
Many people have strong opinions about the late Raja Petra — they say he’d been “bought,” that he “betrayed the cause.” Maybe so. But when I looked at the people saying these things, I realised that even if everything they said was true, I’d still rather be Raja Petra than them.
Raja Petra was a great writer.
A lot of people don’t realise what a great writer he was because he wrote as if he were talking — but it takes immense skill and discipline to write that way. It takes so much practice that I don’t think there’s a writer under 30 who can do what he did. You’d probably have to be in your forties to even come close to the level of Raja Petra’s writing, if you ever reach it at all.
Beyond his skill and talent, Raja Petra had a signature — a restless energy, a biting wit, boldness, irreverence, and daring. Most importantly, he had a truth-seeking quality that connected deeply with me, even when I disagreed with him vehemently.
Raja Petra also, by the way, never claimed that he was an objective thinker or writer. In fact, he was often unabashedly claimed that he was a partisan. Despite that, he often wrestled openly with his biases, questioning himself and his readers about why he took the stances he did. The irony is that his willingness to admit his subjectivity — to confess his agenda while still entertaining opposing views — gave him a kind of honesty and breadth that most self-proclaimed “objective” journalists lack.
I suppose it was these qualities that allowed me to connect with him. And that connection made me feel that when he died, something in me died a little too.
As for everyone else in this industry, I doubt I’ll feel as if anything in me has died when they die.
I’m not saying our media landscape is corrupt or deceitful. I’m saying it’s ordinary - lukewarm - run of the mill.
It’s made basically up of “cari makan” organizations and personnel that do what they do because that’s what they have to do — to afford the iPhone, the Honda Civic, the holiday in Japan, the apartment in the city.
Our industry loves to regale everyone and itself with grand stories — about how it is only desirous of enlightening the people, reform society, build the nation, or speak truth to power. We are, after all, men and women of words; we know how to use them to create an image of ourselves.
But as they say, it is the heart that makes the world.
We can proclaim all sorts of high ideals using all the words in the dictionary, but when something happens and nothing moves in the hearts of others, perhaps we should just accept that all we ever truly cared about was taking care of ourselves.
Sure, we fact-check, spell-check, and got the stories that caught the attention of the public. But what we do is no different from a restaurant serving food every day. The restaurant isn’t being generous. It isn’t feeding the hungry. It’s not trying to make the world a better place just because countless people stay alive by partaking in what it has to offer. Rather, It’s simply another cari makan enterprise doing what it must to survive.
Whether it wins awards or faces closure, whether it’s on the right or wrong side of authority — that should concern only itself.
Whatever it is that Murray wrote that got him into trouble, if he did for a bigger cause than himself, than I suppose he can expect help from those who stand for that bigger cause as well, or at least gain the satisfaction of knowing that he fell for something that is worthwhile.
If not, then I hope he is capable of taking care of himself, because, really, that’s all anyone in this industry can expect — to take care of themselves.
I’m sure he wouldn’t have come to my aid if I were in his shoes, so I’m sure he’ll understand why I can’t be expected to be much concerned that he is now that he’s in trouble.
The proper way to think of him, I suppose, is like a colleague at workplace you joined for no other reason other than to make a living.
You didn’t take the job out of passion.
Your workplace is not an institution that stands for something.
Your colleagues are there for no other reason than the monthly paycheck.
While you’re there, you do what you must to please your superiors and avoid blame. You also shared a bit of camaraderie — lunch together, a drink on weekends. But one day, when you or they leave, as the saying goes: out of sight, out of mind.
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