Parents are the main protector and provider to a child. A child will often look up to them throughout their life on what they do, how they regulate, why they act that way, and so on. These questions are the ones that helps to shaped a child personal growth which creates their personality and how they perceive the world around them through their very own lens. In today household, Parents are set that as long as their child has food on the table, sufficient access to education and a roof above their heads, They are all good. This is where your child is not getting one important thing in their life. Can you guess it?
Love and emotional support. Often times, abuse and neglection in the early stages of childhood tend to give the child a serious impact into their life as they grow up, building a growth system where they are not important and not good enough for them. This doesn't happen overnight, but a constantly effects of an neglected environment and lack of unconditional love. But, you can be doing the right things such as being a excellent provider in their studies, food and etc but if you lack to give them love and protection, they are going to lose their self esteem and confidence to live in this world.
Love is not just saying “ I Love You”. It is being part of their life with them as they grow, explore and create a meaningful life. It is being consistent and showing up for them. Listening to your child when they have something to say and talk about. Don't ignore them and say “ Your busy”. This will show them how unimportant they are in your life and it creates a distance between you and them. Validate their feelings and thoughts instead of dismissing them. By doing so will create a safe space for them to be open to you. Emotional support through love is not just in physical form but also mentally and emotionally as well.
Parents tends to raise their children to be discipline so that it creates a form of respect and resilience. However, discipline without proper care and love would eventually build their attachment styles around them as they grow up, such anxious and avoidant or even a mixture of both. This would be an highly impact on them especially when they step out into the world. They will find hard time building trust and connection with people. This is where they overly or hardly express how they truly feel towards themselves and also to others where they want to build a relationship.
Having a balance of love and discipline is a perfect way to raise children to be able to express themselves and also build great habits. This not only help them emotionally but also in the terms of being able to self trust and trust others along their way of life. Feel their words being spoken to you and acknowledge that they make mistakes too and don't be judgmental towards that. This help them feel their self worth and understand that mistake is not the end of their life but a lesson they can build their strong foundation to thrive in the world.
At end of the day in our life, children would not 100% remember the lessons or rules you have set upon them but one thing they will truly remember till the day they die is how you shown love and treated them. Were they safe? Were they too open? Were they being too much? Let's not let our children of our generation be in chaos as much as the world is now. Let's make a difference and break the cycle of raising with toughness with raising with love, care and discipline.
Because as parents thrive so much to give everything to them but that one thing that shapes their heart, mind and soul is Love.
Abirami Ravi (abirami1999ravi@gmail.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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