According to #XUAN解忧树洞, A man has been with his girlfriend for 11 years, and this month, they found out that she is pregnant. The moment he heard the news, he told her, “Let’s have the baby, and then get married.” She did not refuse, but said she wanted them to take their wedding photos before the baby was born because she was worried that her body might change after giving birth and she did not want to have any regrets. He thought it was reasonable, so he agreed and even took her to China for their wedding photoshoot. The photos cost RMB25,000, and with their 10 day trip, they spent around RMB40,000 in total. After returning, he started discussing their marriage registration, only for her to suddenly say, “Let’s not register yet. I want us to observe things for a little longer.” He was completely stunned. After asking her for several days, she finally revealed the real reason: she does not feel secure because he still has not bought a house for them. After 11 years together and a baby on the way, is a house really the missing piece that could determine whether a couple gets married?
It is not that he does not want to buy one. The problem is that the areas he is interested in have landed houses costing well over RM1.5 million. He has been looking at houses for years but still has not found one that he genuinely feels is suitable for them. Ideally, he wants to keep the budget around RM1 million, or preferably even lower, but she insists on living in a landed house, leaving them with very limited options. He currently takes home around RM12,000 a month after EPF deductions, and they have two cars, although one has already been fully paid off. Now, he feels pressured to find a house as soon as possible, hopefully before the baby is born, so they can finally register their marriage. On top of that, he has already arranged a confinement centre for her, costing RM25,000. He admits that he never knew confinement centres could be so expensive, but still feels it is worth it. She said her family would not be able to provide her with a proper environment to rest after giving birth, and since she is going through pregnancy and childbirth for their family, he wants her to be as comfortable as possible. From finding out about the pregnancy to arranging the wedding photoshoot and confinement centre, everything happened within just one month. His wallet certainly took a hit, but he is willing to do it because he sees these expenses as part of building their future together. But does spending money and making plans necessarily translate into the sense of security that a partner is looking for? Or is her concern about something deeper than simply owning a house?
What he truly cannot understand is why, after everything he has done, she still feels that he cannot give her a future simply because he has not bought a house. They have been together for 11 years, and now they have a child on the way. He has never avoided his responsibilities and has always been planning for their future. Whenever there was something she wanted and it was within his means, he would always try his best to provide it. Yet somehow, one house has become the reason she still refuses to register their marriage. He is now feeling desperate and exhausted, unsure of what more he can do to reassure her. After 11 years, should marriage be based on having a house first, or should the two of them be able to build that future together, step by step? And if you were in his position, what would you do? What do you think about this story? Let me know below in the comments!
Jovy Jing (ndreagoh@gmail.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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