Married for 23 years, she has a big house, a nice car, savings and a family that looks happy from the outside. Yet inside, she feels like she has nothing.
According to XUAN解忧树洞, the marriage started with passion but soon became filled with arguments. After having children, she developed severe insomnia and emotional struggles. Some nights, she slept only two or three hours while taking care of three children and managing the household.
Her husband repeatedly chatted with other women online, even when they were sitting together. She forgave him many times, but the same problems kept happening.
Over the years, their relationship became more distant. He eventually stopped sharing a bedroom with her, and their intimate life disappeared completely. At the same time, she noticed him spending long periods watching adult videos alone.
More recently, she discovered that he had been looking at advertisements for sexual services. Years earlier, there had also been an incident involving another woman that left her deeply traumatised. During that period, she was pregnant with their third child and felt completely helpless.
She stayed, mainly for the children.
Today, the children are grown. The family travels overseas every year and appears happy to outsiders. They have a comfortable home, cars and savings.
But financially, she feels trapped.
Most of the money and assets are under her husband’s name. After arguments, he sometimes gives her very little money. Since the pandemic, he has stopped providing regular household expenses. Even asking for RM400 can feel embarrassing.
She now earns a little extra money by helping look after children, making around RM1,000 a month.
What hurts most is seeing how generous he can be with other people while being extremely careful with her. He can spend thousands entertaining others or sending gifts during livestreams, yet she receives no bonus, birthday gifts or reliable financial support.
Friends see a woman living comfortably in a big house and driving a nice car. They do not see the woman who lies awake at night, worrying about what will happen if her husband eventually leaves.
She has become so used to pretending everything is fine that even close friends know very little about what happens at home.
These days, the couple barely speak. When something needs to be discussed, messages are sent through their phones.
Travelling is one of the few things that still makes her happy, although even sitting in the car can make her nervous because of her husband's aggressive driving.
Now, she wants to focus on her children and stop fighting.
More than anything, she wants one simple thing.
A peaceful night's sleep.
After 23 years of marriage, the biggest wish is no longer a bigger house, a nicer car or more money.
It is simply to feel safe, valued and at peace again.
Jovy Jing (ndreagoh@gmail.com) is a content creator under the Newswav Creator programme, where you get to express yourself, be a citizen journalist, and at the same time monetize your content & reach millions of users on Newswav. Log in to creator.newswav.com and become a Newswav Creator now!
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